but you broke me now i can't feel anything(DREE)

[darius jereme whitfield]

Derek’s fist arched through air before the side of it slammed against the wooden door in his path, he drew it back quickly before it slammed back against the door a few more times before the appendage fell limp at his side as he stood rooted to the spot impatiently waiting for the door to open. He tried his best to calm down his labored breaths but it wasn’t easy when he was this hot under the collar and kept thinking about the thing that upset him, his heart was racing and he could hear the sound of each beat in his ears. He kept clenching and unclenching his fingers together tempted to keep pounding until he knocked the door down by force, though he wasn’t even sure if Aubrey was inside her room he wasn’t sure where else he could corner her and get her to actually listen to what he had to say; there hadn’t been any reason to say anything until she’d kissed him at Mardi Gras, Derek thought she was just going to leave him alone but her actions that night had confused him. His clenched fingers rose up into the air before he once again connected the side of his fist with the wooden door, pounding until out of his peripheral vision he noticed the doorknob turn.

Unclenching his fist he kept his open palm on the door and applied more pressure once it started to open, watching as Aubrey stepped out of the way as he invited himself into her room. He stood there fuming as he stared down at her, the anger boiling to the surface again as he slammed the door shut behind and advanced on her. ”You are going to listen to me Aubrey Jenkins,I sick and tired of you avoiding me. Now sit down and shut up…” His hand rose up from his side and as usual that lone index finger was extended out but instead of being in her face he was pointing over to her bed. Falling in step behind her he started to tug at the sleeves of his jacket until he removed it from his body and tossed it onto the bed as she sat down, his face buried in the palms of his hands as he stood in front of her; his hands retreating up into his hair as he glared down at her. ”There is a small part of me Jenkins that wants to turn around and not even give a dam but that’s over shadowed by the fact that I have to say this…can’t really say I care if you like it nor that I care if I hurt your feelings.”

[NOTES: XD make you post at least twice in this, cause he'll yell next post.]

[aubrey rose jenkins]

Bree had just gotten home from work an hour or so again, and since she'd worked out the first thing she did was take a shower. Her cousin was out for the night, probably on a date or something, so when she dried herself off and changed in the dorms bathrooms she leant over so she could wrap her hair in a towel before walking back into her room. She put her shower caddy she had away until she'd use it again tomorrow, and after that she went over to her desk and picked up her brush as she let the towel slip and fall from her hair. She caught it as she tossed it on the back of the chair as she feathered her long locks out with her fingers before letting the brush slip through them to detangle whatever knots had formed.

She sat quietly on her bed relaxing after a long days work as she counted out her brush strokes, not something she did regularly but it took her mind off of her aching muscles, but soon all muscles were tense as she heard a pounding at her door. Her first thought is that it'd been Preston for round two of their fight, but she hadn't really spoken to him in a while so it couldn't have been him could it? Since she'd had nothing on in her room it was silent, so instead of getting up she stayed there still hoping the knocking would stop. It did too, for about an half a minute before the pounding started back up again causing her to jump in her spot. She had a feeling whoever it was wouldn't just stop, so instead of staying silent like she should have she walked to the door and turned the knob.

Feeling someone pushing from the other side caused Bree to take a quick step back not wanting to get hit by it, and as soon as she noticed it'd been Derek her eyes widened. She could tell he was angry just from the expression on his face, but she couldn't figure out why he'd shown up at her door since she hadn't even seen him in the past couple of days. She opened her mouth to ask him if he'd been lost, but the second she got the first syllable out he silenced her as her mouth clamped shut. She did not take kindly to being told to shut up, her brows lacing together as her look became polished and stern, but instead of saying anything she silently retreated to the bed doing as he'd so rudely demanded. She sat down picking her feet up as she pulled herself across the bed until her back touched the wall, and she picked her knees up pulling them to her chest as she distanced herself from him. "Say what? What is this about?"

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[darius jereme whitfield]

His hands came to rest on the back of his neck, his fingers interlocking together, as he watched her slink away from away and try to cause some space between the two; he clenched his jaw as his gaze dropped to the group as he looked away from the scowl she was casting in his direction. He knew she only did as he instructed to humor him in the hopes that he’d simmer down, but Derek already knew the second he’d walked through the door he’d be leaving just as heated as he’d arrived. His hands slipped three of each of each and as the palms of his hands smacked against his thighs as he once again met her gaze, he did his best to only allow her to see the fire that burned in eyes ready to engulf her and let her feel his rage. ”I get why you slept with me, I don’t know the actual reason since you refused to tell me but I understand. You were trying to give me a taste of my own medicine, since I sleep with women and then toss them aside like trash…which is what you did. And you know I’m not upset you would do that I guess you realized you’re to good for me, and that I don’t deserve someone like you in my life a person who would try to make me a better person…” Derek’s eyes widened slightly as his brows stayed bunched together, his hand rose up from his side and he directed it at her. ”…that’s why you avoided me. You see I understand…so I figure okay I’ll forget Aubrey Jenkins if she wants nothing to do with me.”

He crossed his arms over his chest as his features started to soften, ”It’s not easy when I care about you…” he let his head droop down and turned his attention to the floor, hoping she hadn’t caught how he used the word or how his eyes probably gave away how sincere he was about the way he’d felt for her; the honest in his own voice had scared him and he’d had to look away from her before he said something else could possibly regret. ”…I cared about you…” His voice rose louder than it had been as he searched the ground near his feet to help him get back on track, he bit down gently on the inside of his cheek as he ran through everything like a bad movie in his head feeling that fire grow and grow as his heart started to beat faster. Lifting his head back up was able to look her in the eye again after he was finished lying to himself and her about his feelings, he knew he still cared but he didn’t want her to know; he hoped he could mask the true feelings he felt with the anger he only wanted her to see. …Thankfully you told me not care, guess that’s why I don’t invest in finding out about other people. It’s okay for you to ask twenty questions but if I do it’s you don’t care Derek. That helped a little but then Mardi Gras you stroll up and just act as if there is nothing wrong…I missed you Derek…Darius Whitfield always there to catch me when I fall that’s why I like you so much…confusing the hell out of me the way you seem to want nothing to do with me, change your mind, then go back to not wanting anything to do with me.”

”I don’t know what you want Aubrey, but I do know I can’t be this guy you want me to be and who deserves you. But with how you’ve been acting it’s not even the same girl I knew, it’s like you’re trying to sink to my level or worse and show people their worse assumptions about you are true…and you’re fucking better than that Jenkins.” Derek let a frustrated heavy sigh escape his lips as he looked away from her down at the ground, once again gently biting down on the inside of his cheek. His wandered back up to her face as he shook his head from side to side in disappointment, ”I don’t know what the fuck is up with you lately but you need to figure out how to move past it and get back to the old Aubrey…and I suppose I should thank you for proving I was right, if you care about someone they do always end up leaving you or hurting you. In your case both.” Derek uncrossed his arms as he started to retreat backwards in the direction of the door, he looked over his shoulder to be sure he would find it and not have to stay a moment longer than he wanted to. ”Should I ever find myself in a situation where I wish to show honest concern for a person I’ll just shut up and be noncaring, unemotional Derek.” He turned his back to her as he went to reach for the handle, he turned it and pulled the door open ajar but glanced over his shoulder at her. ”Coming over I was trying to decide if I should give you the options to stop running from what you’re afraid of or to leave me alone but uh I think it’s best if you leave me alone. Go find someone who is allowed to care about you and worth your time I suppose…someone you would want in your life.” His shoulders rose and then fell heavily as he looked away from her once more, the anger on his face hopefully masking the pain he felt from walking away. He opened the door further and exited her room, closing the door behind him before he made his way down the hall. It took all he had to make his feet continue to march forward, to not go back and tell her how he felt; but he knew he couldn’t find the words if he did, and even if he found them he couldn’t help but feel she would care. Derek knew this was why he tried his hardest not to care for anyone because even though he acted like nothing fazed him he still wound up getting hurt in the end too.

[aubrey rose jenkins]

Aubrey thought that if she stayed silent and did as told it would lessen whatever mood he'd been in, but as she looked up to him she could see that fire in his eyes letting her know that whatever was on his mind would soon be out in the open. Hearing him say he understood her motives behind sleeping with him had Bree staring at him in disbelief, and she wanted to speak up and tell him that he knew nothing of her motives but she didn't. Instead she just rested her mouth on her knees to silence herself as she hugged them close to her body curling into that ball against the wall. When he started talking about a taste of his own medicine she wanted to shake her head and again tell him he'd been wrong, but she knew now was not the time in the middle of his rant so again she kept silent. She wanted to stand up and tell him that he had not been trash as well, but she knew if she'd opened her mouth the words wouldn't come out how she wanted them too, and in the end that could just piss him off even more, so even though she wanted to talk to him she just couldn't.

She rested her forehead against her knees since she couldn't even look at him as he went on to express how she thought she'd been too good for him, but she did pick her head up to look at him for a few seconds when he said he hadn't deserved someone like her. That was far from the truth, Bree did not think she was special enough to be out of his league, but saying anything would lead to an arguement so once more she fell silent wanting desperately to lash out and let her words flow, but she had known better than to do that. Her head slowly rolled left to right as she listened to his reasoning behind her avoidance, "no, you don't understand," she mumbled though quickly bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from talking again. He did not want to hear her voice right now, so instead of telling him everything he was saying was a lie she just sat there silently staring at him now.

Her body tensed up when she heard him say he cared, and her face even expressed such confusion as she searched his eyes for an answer, but all she got out of them had been hatred and aggravation. When he broke eye contact she sighed as her forehead fell back against her knee as she almost hoped this had all been a dream, and that this man had not just expressed his true feelings for her. Hearing him retract his statement and morph the words around caused her heart to jump as she could feel a lump in her throat, and once more she found herself trying to catch something in his movement and eye contact that'd tell her he was lying, but as she tried to find a hint of his emotions his eyes locked on hers and she once again saw that hatred, or at least that's what she figured it'd been. She sighed as he started to speak again knowing that it was only going to get worse from here, and sure enough he brought up Mardi Gras. She could not remember Mardi Gras all that much, she'd had enough alcohol that night that from start to finish had been one blur, but somehow she'd ended up with Derek's shirt and she seemed to remember invading his space. She wasn't sure what she had said to him that night, but from what he was saying no wonder he was pissed off about what she'd done.

Bree was tempted to speak up when he said he hadn't a clue what she wanted, but since she too was having a hard time figure it all out she just shrugged her shoulders turning her attention to the blanket beside her trying to avoid looking at him. She just wanted this converastion done and over with, especially since she couldn't bring herself to say anything, but whenever there was a pause he seemed to say something else instead of just leaving. She sighed wanting to break down when he told her she needed to revert back to the old Aubrey, "easier said than done," she made the quiet statement to herself burying her head in her knees so he couldn't see her as her eyes started to water. She just could not handle this right now, and as she heard him talk she silently counted to herself hoping that something could drown out everything he was saying, but it didn't work as each word hissed into her ear leaving her feeling broken. She could hear his feet starting to move as his words started to gain distance, so without looking up she knew he was about ready to leave, and right now that's all she could want from him. She did not want to break down infront of him, but after everything he said and everything else dealing with feelings she'd had to put up with the last few years she just couldn't help it as she could feel her bottom lid starting to swell with tears.

Go find someone who is allowed to care about you and worth your time I suppose...someone you would want in your life, the last statement of his spoke volumes as she heard the door shut and her room had fallen silent. She picked her head up looking at where the towering man used to stand, but now it was nothing more than a vacant space. She let out a wild frustrated groan as she grabbed her pillow and put it over her face as she dropped her head to the bed yelling into it, just noises though as no words were able to form with how she felt. She could not believe that had just happened, and almost would have thought it'd been a dream had she not felt a zipper underneath her as she sat up and noticed his jacket. She grabbed it in her hand and jumped off of her bed racing to the door, but as her hand wrapped around the handle she contemplated what would happen if she caught up with him, and not ready to see him now she just stared down at his jacket. Her tears were free to fall as she let out another frustrated groan as she grabbed ahold of the jacket like she was going to rip it in half, but instead all she did was tug at it moving the fabric around as she walked over towards her bed, and without hesitation she tossed it on her bed as she fell back stuffing her head right back into her pillow wanting to get away from the world. She felt his jacket at her side as she pulled at it with one of her hands and tucked it under her arm, a comforting gesture even if the jacket had belonged to someone that had wanted nothing more to do with her. While alone she let herself finally break down as she cried silently into her pillow. Not just about what had just happened, of course it'd been one of the biggest reasons, but with just everything that'd happened over the past year or so she couldn't handle it anymore. Here he was saying she needed to find that old Aubrey, and yet she was finding it hard to keep that old version of herself from dying off completely, but she did try to keep hold of a small strand of normalicy, no matter how strained it managed to be.

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