Rollercoaster of emotions --- AVALON

[lirie]

the outfit^^

After couple of days cooped up at home and two messages from Ava, Kyle couldn’t stand being stuck inside anymore, he needed to get, get some fresh air, clear his thoughts. The quarry was his destination of choice, under his favorite big tree which was closest to the water. He sat there, doing nothing but thinking and watching the sky change colors as night crawled closer, he thought about the day he spent with Ava and about how even if was awkward, it was the most fun he could remember having. He also thought about the fact that he lied to him, Kyle was aware that his anger was a bit unfair and irrational, he wasn’t that angry with her anymore, that anger was now more turned toward himself. He was angry at himself, for handling the situation in such a childish manner and he resented himself for not being to remember someone who was supposedly such an important person in his life.

The day after Kyle found out, his mother told him all she knew about their relationship and even told him that he was planning on asking her to marry him once she finished high school, how could he forget someone he loved so much? He really hated himself at that very moment but realized afterward that he couldn’t exactly help he had amnesia, the resentment he felt toward himself never fully disappeared though. The reason why he didn’t reply to Ava’s messages was because he couldn’t face her after the way he acted and a small part of him was afraid that after what he did she would really not be interested in him anymore. He decided to leave it for a while, get himself together before trying to contact her again. He did still feel somewhat angry, just a tad, about her not telling him the truth, but in the messages she sent him she told him that she had her reasons and there were a few reasons he could think of why she didn’t himself.

At Kyle’s feet was an envelope, filled with photos, which he found in the box his mother used to be so dodgy about, it was mostly photos of him and Ava and a few others, when he got to the quarry earlier that day he spent about an hour staring at them, trying his best to remember something, but nothing came back to him.

[/font]

[ava]

The way things had been left with Kyle had been killing Avalon for the last few days since they had spent the afternoon at the stables. his text message really got to her, the fact that he didn't understand why she had kept it from him, that he was so angry at her for it. The last few days she hadn't done anything but pin herself up in the dorms like she hated and contemplate her next move. Was it for the better that he was angry so they could both just go their separate ways, did she try and explain it all to him, did she wait for him to decide he wanted her back in his life as friends or whatever that may be. the questions were killing her and until it was at least squared away she wouldn't be able to focus at school or anything else this week for that matter. Grabbing her keys and bag off her desk she left in pursuit of his house to take things into her own hands. If he wouldn't answer her calls or texts, she would just show up and give him no choice but to talk to her face to face.

As flustered and anxious as she was the drive seemed to take forever as Avalon pulled up in front of his house again. She didn't shut the car off right away trying to go over in her mind what she was going to say, and how to say it without showing him how angry she truly was. None of it was his fault after all. Taking a deep breath she shut down the engine and made her way to the door knocking a few times before his mother answered. It was going to be only a short visit she realized as the woman told her he wasn't there. She tried to get his where abouts from her but she had no clue, and Avalon felt that she wouldn't lie to her about it. Taking her keys out of her pocket again she re entered the drivers seat and turned it on letting it run for a moment while she thought. He hadn't been home in hours, he had told her himself the other day he didn't remember anyone, he didn't have any friends since the accident so where would he go?

The quarry. Avalon knew in an instant that had to be the answer. He had been there once before since waking up and had been thrilled to remember what the place was. It had been his favorite place before the accident to just go and hang out, to be by himself. There had been many other times she would find him there after something happened, a lost basketball game, an argument with someone, just a crappy day. She pulled out of the driveway again and pushed the car into drive as she sped off to get to the outside of town and hopefully find him there.

The area they had to park at the quarry wasn't paved, nor was it easy driving, and sat quite aways back from the water. Standing to the side of her car though Avalon could see him sitting on the rocks in the distance and shoved her keys into her jacket pocket taking the walk to meet him where he was. If he had heard the car or seen her he didn't show any sign of it, not turning to look, still facing out over the shoreline. It was quiet, and night would be falling fast, the faster it came the cooler it got and she wondered how long he had been out there.

A few steps behind him Avalon stopped and just watched him from behind for a moment, took it all in, while taking a deep breath and expecting the worst. Getting it over with was at the front of her mind though as she finally released her breath and walked placing her self down beside him to the right, crossing her legs and closing her eyes. "Why wouldn't you answer my calls?" The question was the first good thing she could come up with, maybe it would tell her why he was so mad, help her decode the situation. She opened her eyes and turned to face him hoping he wouldn't just stay silent and still not talk to her.

TAG. Kyle
WORDS. seven-thirty-two
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. My obnoxious dying laptop.
NOTES. Nope =)
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal!

[lirie]

Kyle was too lost in thought to hear or see Ava approach him, he didn’t even notice when she sat down next to him, so when she spoke she damn near gave him a heart attack. He jumped up and looked down at her, “Ava! Sjeez, you’re a really good sneaker aren’t you?” he said, holding his hand to his chest on the spot where his heart beat felt the strongest, he felt it going from a high speed back to a normal pace and let his arm back to his side. Her question was one he didn’t know how to explain to her, it was complicated, so he stood there silently for a few seconds before he answered, “I well, at first, it was because I was angry at you for not telling me about… You know.” He said honestly, he have not yet once lied to someone since awakening and didn’t plan on starting now either “After I thought it through, I realized that I over acted a little… Ok a lot and well, I was afraid of what would happen if I contacted you, I already messed things up… I didn’t want to make it worse.” He added shortly after, sitting back down on the spot he was before.

“So, I was basically embarrassed about the way I handled things and I couldn’t muster the courage to face you after that.” Was the last thing he added on before falling silent again and looking once more at the changing sky. As he spoke, mist came from his mouth, it was getting colder by the minute and the hoody he wore didn’t do much to keep him warm. In attempt to keep out the cold, he pulled the hoody over his head and zipped up the jacket just about two centimeters from the top before rubbing his hands together, his fingers were freezing cold because he had been outside for hours.

He then looked at Ava again and sighed, “Why didn’t you tell me?” he then asked the question he has been contemplating the answer for over the last couple of days, “I know it’s been a long time, but hearing it from you would’ve been better than having to hear it from my mom, who was so excited because she thought I had remembered something…” he added, looking down at the ground, tears started to well up in his eyes and finally broke free, slowly dripping down his cheeks. The tears were caused by everything, him not being able to remember anything, his resentment toward himself for it, the way he handled things with Ava, things just bubbled up to a point where crying was the only thing left he could do to make himself feel better. Most guys would be embarrassed about having to cry in front of anyone, but Kyle wasn’t, he didn’t care anymore, his reputation and manliness mattered zip to him now. Although he didn’t know it, he had never before cried in front of Ava.

[ava]

The fact that Kyle had been angry with her was a given, the part where he had been ignoring her kinda gave that away. The why is what got her though and part of her still didn't understand as he sat back down beside her. The way he dealt with it wasn't the best but ignoring her wouldn't fix things, maybe if she had not wanted to talk to him or tried to even contact him she would feel differently. She did though, more then once, and he still ignored her even knowing he had over reacted. "You thought ignoring me wasn't going to make it any worse?" Avalon asked him confused. She didn't understand sometimes how things worked in his mind, not just post accident but before as well. Maybe that was just part of their differences, him being a man and her, well , not. That didn't mean that it couldn't be worked out it just sort of bothered her that he felt that way about their situation.

His gaze left her again and fell back out over the water as she watched him zip up his hoody in the cold. Kyle wouldn't be able to stay out there much longer, but Avalon had a much thicker coat on then him. His fingers were glove less and he rubbed his hands together trying to begin producing some sort of heat between them. She wanted to take him somewhere warmer but they needed to finish this conversation before they went anywhere, or at least get a few things out. If they moved it may just be a thought of the past, and overlooked. She may not get a chance to explain to him like she wanted to her reasons, and when he flatly asked her why she had her chance.

Hearing the facts from his mom wasn't the worst of situations, but it probably wasn't what he would have wanted and she had known that. Avalon though hadn't been ready to tell him, to cross that bridge again, and honestly she wasn't sure if she ever would have been. Sitting here though now with his questioning eyes she was being forced to, against her will, but the hardest part was out of the way. She hadn't been the one to tell him and have to come out with it, she just had to deal with the aftermath. He looked away again and her eyes followed back to him seeing the tears beginning to form. Before the first one had even fallen she felt her heart breaking knowing that part of this was her fault, she owed him an explanation.

"I don't want you to think I didn't care, because I did." Her eyes left him not sure she could look at him while she talked, it made it harder for her to find the words and choke them out. Instead she watched the water rolling over the rocks a few feet ahead of her to try and stay focused on what she was saying and not dodge this question like she had the last. "But you were in a coma for a year, no one knew if you would even wake up." How much he knew she wasn't really sure of, or how much he had really thought over the situation and the grim reality that had been his life for the last year."When I found out you didn't remember I didn't want to interfere with that. I wasn't sure I was ready, and I didn't want you to feel any obligation to me because you were with me when it happened. I want you to be able to choose new friends if you wanted, to date someone else that you weren't doing it just to be the same person you were before."

Every honest word spilled out of her mouth and although she knew it wasn't coming out exactly how it was in her mind she hoped he would understand it. Avalon had thought it was the best thing for both of them, if she had decided she was ready or wanted to step back into that to start brand new, not with the past weighing on them, she never wanted him to feel he had to have anything to do with her just because that was the way it had been. It was inevitable he would have wanted to do that with some things, he didn't remember his past and he was dying to, but reliving it through her because she was convenient wasn't how she saw it playing out.

"I stayed by your side for seven long months. I didn't eat, I cried, I neglected the rest of my life hoping you would wake up. Then I realized one day all the things that were passing me by on the outside. I wasn't going to graduate if I kept skipping classes or not turning in homework. I couldn't focus on you anymore, I had to focus on me." It was done and she had said it but her fear now was of it causing him more pain then he was already in. She couldn't imagine where he was at in life, not knowing who he was, his purpose, anything that everyone else took for granted. Avalon turned her entire body to face him again as he sat beside her looking at the ground in full blown tears now. She wanted to help him but she didn't know how. To reach out and touch him, comfort him somehow, but no matter how she wanted it or felt it was right and normal, to him it wasn't the same. She was already choking back her own tears in frustration and if she did that might just be the thing it took to break her. Never before in all their years of being together, of knowing each other had he cried like this in front of her.

TAG. Kyle
WORDS. nine-eighty-eight
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. Silence
NOTES. Nope =)
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal!

[lirie]

He hadn’t thought about how ignoring her would effect her, to be honest he didn’t even know why he did ignore her, he was so confused about everything “Ok, ignoring you wasn’t a genius thing to do either, but I didn’t know what to do… I was and still am confused because I felt something when I was with you that day, a sort of tingling that went through my body the moment you touched my hands… I know it sounds silly but, I couldn’t stop staring at you, I still can’t… I don’t know what to make of it, how attached I got to you in those few hours, how I just want to be close to you, It’s the strangest thing, feeling that but not remembering anything about us... Having no recollection of how I came to feel this way about you.” He didn’t know if what he was saying would make any sense to her, how could it really? She wasn’t in his position, she didn’t have a great big hole in her memory where her past used to be “I guess I needed to think things over, to process everything, I’ve been sitting here all day staring at these and trying with all my might to remember something…” he added as he slid the envelope in front of her, wiping all the tears from his eyes before looking into hers. There it was again, that feeling he was talking about,“See, like right her, right now, looking at you I know in my heart that there’s something greater than friendship here….” He explained to her, gesturing between the two of them as if there were actually something there that could be seen, but there wasn’t “It’s like you’re a huge piece of steel and I’m a magnet, I’m drawn to you with a force I don’t think I can fight…” he added before chuckling a bit at his own stupid metaphor.

He listened as she explained why she didn’t tell him and tried putting himself in her shoes, he understood, or at least he thought he did, to some extent. “I understand, I think… You didn’t want me to feel like I owed you anything… Like I was stuck in the past, but the thing is Ava, you don’t just feel like my past to me, you feel like my future as well…” he said once she was done, still looking straight into her eyes “That might sound silly, since I can’t remember anything about you, or what we went through… But it is the truth, which is genuinely what I feel, in my heart… It can’t be explained.” He said as he put his hand on his chest once more held it there for about two seconds and dropped his hand back in his lap, by this time he had also turned to face her. “I know this might be a lot to ask of you, but, do you think we can start over? Can I have another chance to be in your life, I’m not asking for anything more than friendship; I just want the chance to get to know you again, so that these feeling I have for you can be explained…”

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[ava]

Avalon wasn't sure how to take what he was telling her. The way he felt when they touched, when he had seen her, she had an idea what it felt like because she felt it sitting beside him not. The difference was she knew why she felt the way she did, he had no explanation at all up until his mom had let the cat out of the bag. It was a lot for her to grasp, to take in, he had to be in an almost dark place trying to do so over the last few days with his anger. Kyle pushed the envelope in front of her and she looked up at him with curiosity before picking it up and pulling out the pictures from inside.

Immediately Avalon felt like she had lost her voice and every ounce of strength she had looking at them. The fact that he even still had them baffled her since she had always figured they would have been removed from his room by his mother before bringing Kyle home. The pictures were of different points in their relationship, trips they had taken, holidays, just random favorite photos he had kept. She still had some of them herself that she kept in a special box in her closet, she hadn't taken it out since the last time she saw him though. Seeing them now as the tears formed in her eyes she remembered all to well why she had put them away so long ago.

The picture Avalon stared at as he asked her to give him another chance was the picture they had taken on the plane home to visit her family in North Carolina for the summer. It was the first time he had been allowed to stay in the same house with her, let alone them taking a trip together. It had been the perfect break and after that things had taken a turn for the even more serious in their relationship if there was such a thing. How could she tell him no? It didn't matter at this point if she was afraid of being hurt or what might happen, her emotions were back in it again and she wanted to give him that chance even if it turned into nothing.

Avalon's thoughts were overwhelming her at the moment, the what if's, the had beens. She couldn't predict the future and although she might feel like it now she knew she wouldn't want to. Running a finger over the picture she wiped the tears from her eyes and placed them back on the ground impulsively before even putting it back inside the envelope. Just as fast as she had put them back on the ground she had moved herself up onto her knees facing him and reached out for his face. Placing her hands gently on either side she pulled him in closer pausing for a moment to take a deep breath in before actually closing them gap between them and pressing her lips to his.

The electricity was instantaneous throughout her body as she knew it would be. Whatever fear she had before had somehow disappeared and she had jumped quickly before allowing herself to think twice about it. Her reasons for denying the kiss before had been valid but they no longer mattered since he knew their past, she didn't have to wonder if he wanted to or not because he had already tried once before. She slowly pulled back eyes staying closed as she laid her forehead onto his and shook her head. I, she paused not sure what to say next searching for the words and speaking again only when she had found them. I can't just walk away Kyle. You won't ever have to worry about that unless there comes a point in time where it is what we want, or what is best. I didn't want to this time.

TAG. Kyle
WORDS. six-fifty-six
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. The Tyra Show
NOTES. Nope =)
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal!

[lirie]

Kyle started to worry a bit when Ava became so quiet, but he didn’t interrupt her because she was clearly thinking about something, instead he just sat there, watching her cry, it took every bit of will power for him not to touch her, not to physically try comfort her, he wanted to, but decided not to since the last time he tried getting physical things didn’t really work our too well. The worry he felt could clearly be seen by the frown on his face and the intense way he was staring at her, he broke his gaze only for a few seconds to look at the picture she was holding, and then refocused it on her. He would’ve given anything to be able to read her mind right now, to know what it was that brought her to tears, to be able to take the pain she felt away from her, to make her feel better.

Before he knew it, he found himself crying with her, as if her emotional state was being transferred to him, he didn’t even know what he was crying about but despite that he still cried, the crying seemed to let every bad emotion he has been having over the last couple of days escape him and he felt more release and relieve than he ever thought possible.

He watched as Ava knelt down before him, not sure what her next move was going to be, as soon as her hands touched his tear streaked cheeks he felt butterflies in his stomach, he couldn’t say anything, all he could do was lift his arms and put his hands gently on her shoulder. The moment her lips touched his he closed his eyes, returning the kiss with the same intensity, just as laid her head against his memories came flooding back to him and he felt a sharp pain inside his skull, he shook as images and emotions and dialog of the two of them on vacation went through his mind, the two of them holding hands, laughing, cuddling on a couch, kissing on the beach, eating dinner with her parents, hiking up a mountain, he felt all the emotions he felt in those moments, the strongest of all was euphoria, he had never been happier than in those moments. Just when he thought it was over another memory came back to him, shorter, but equally important, it was only him this time, talking to his parents about how he felt about Ava, telling them that he was going to ask her to be his wife once she graduated high school.

The memories took about five minutes to re-enter his conscious mind and just when they stopped he stopped shaking and opened his eyes “Avalon McKenna Edwards…” he said smiling broadly, so excited he could’ve jump up and dived head first into the freezing quarry, but he didn’t, instead he wiped the tears from Ava’s face with his thumbs, “I think everything is going to be more than ok from now on, chéri."he added as bit of blood flowing from his nose without him realising

[ava]

The silence after their kiss and her confession that she couldn't leave him now was intense, even just sitting there in front of him. The dark was now settling in and the cold was getting more bitter just as she felt a shiver run through his body. It lasted only a minute but she knew that it was probably time to start thinking about getting somewhere warmer and indoors perhaps, she would have to instill in him the importance of a jacket if he ran off like this again in the middle of winter. She took a deep breath in not wanting to break apart from the moment just yet when he said her name, her full name. She smiled, not even thinking twice about it until he followed it up by reassuring her about everything going on and ended it by calling her Cheri.

Avalon's eyes grew wide as she realized what he had just said and what it meant. Cheri was darling in french , his mother's nationality, also used as mon cheri, or my darling. It was something he used to call her before. How had he gone so suddenly from not remembering anything to knowing her full name and the nickname he had used for her for the first time so many years before. She pulled back from him to look up at him about to question what had just happened when she noticed the stream of red running constant from his nose. "Kyle, your nose is bleeding!" She frantically searched her pockets for something to help stop it with no luck, instead pulling one of her gloves out and pressing it against his nose, instructing him to lift his head and hold it tight. It looked pretty stupid but she had no other brilliant ideas sitting in the middle of the quarry, she didn't have a whole lot to work with.

After a few minutes passed and the bleeding had at least probably slowed Avalon stood up and pulled her keys from her pocket helping him up off the ground. "We should probably find somewhere to go that is warm and get you cleaned up." She made sure he was okay to walk and then led him to the car opening up the passenger side door and allowing him to climb in before going around to the other side and getting in herself. Placing the keys in the ignition and turning it on she let it sit and warm up for a minute as her mind again went back to the names. "How did you know? she paused staring at the steering wheel and then looking towards him sitting beside her, "How did you know my full name? My nickname?" It baffled her that only moments before, he had no recollection of anything, even days before he had no idea who she was or that she even existed.

TAG. Kyle
WORDS. four-eighty-three
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. None.
NOTES. Nope =)
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal!

[lirie]

Kyle was so ecstatic, he didn’t notice the blood running from him nose ”What the...” he started saying but before he couldn’t finish his sentence Ava had already taken care of it and told him to hold back his head and hold it tight “Wow, Ava the medic… Interesting choice…” he joked as he did as he was told, pointing toward the glove in his hand and sounding a little funny with his nose blocked off from air.

When Ava stood up, Kyle followed suit and took the bloody glove off his nose, sniffed a bit, ”Yeah you’re right… There, see, all better.” he said with a smile, crinkling his nose, when he did a single drop of blood fell from his nose onto his black DC shoes, ”Ok, maybe not ALL better. he added with a chuckle as he wiped his nose with the clean part of the glove. Kyle couldn’t help to be perky, he had just had two different memories, memories he was sure were real and relived the emotions of those times as if it was happening at that very moment.

”Hey no fair, that’s part of my job description.” he said with a fake pout, his head was throbbing intensely but he paid no attention to it, he felt a little light-headed but still managed to make it to the car without any complications. He got into the G6 Pontiac, closed the door and watched her with interest as she started it up, he wanted to learn how to drive again, but since his car was a stick-shift only, watching her drive would help him much.

Kyle knew Ava would want an explanation for his out-of-the-blue return of some memories, as soon as he spoke he looked up from her fear shift and at her, ”It was amazing Ava, I saw us, on the beach holding hands, cuddling on a coach, eating dinner with you parents in…. Uh, North Carolina!” he said, his excitement was obvious, ”I felt everything again, the happiness you gave me, how content I felt with you, how much I love you and you love me.” he added, he didn’t put love in the past tense, because he was sure he still loved Ava and always would and because he hoped she still felt the same as she did back then, ”I also saw… he started to say but then stopped, he didn’t want to tell him he was planning on asking him to marry him next year, he didn’t want her to know, he didn’t know where the two of them were going from here on, but he wanted to keep it a secret in case things turned out the way he wished they would ”My mom and dad, we were having a conversation, they were so proud of me. he added quickly after a few seconds of silence, he wasn’t exactly lying, he just bent the truth a little, so much for his clean track record.

[ava]

It wasn't that she wasn't happy he had remembered something, Avalon was ecstatic it was just completely odd and out of the blue the way it happened. He remembered their trip, the picture she had been looking at before, a conversation with his own parents, it made her wonder what else would trigger the rest. She wanted him to have his life back, to remember more then just them. Again, not that she didn't want their memories back but he needed more in his life then just that, because there was so much more to him before. She smiled at him and put the car in reverse pulling away from the quarry and a long evening of strange emotions, and tears.

"Where did you want to go? Did you need to go home?" The night was falling and when Avalon had been at his house previously, his mother was pretty clueless to his where abouts. She was probably worried again and it was all Ava's fault for the second time this week. If his parents approved of their returning friendship they surely wouldn't soon enough. If he didn't want to go home she really had no bright ideas, which was kinda why she was hoping he did. They neared closer to town and she pulled the car to a stop at a light and waited patiently for his answer. Which way she took would depend on what he said.

TAG. Kyle
WORDS. not counting
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. None.
NOTES. Nope =)
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal!

[lirie]

Despite Kyle’s upbeat mood, Ava was quiet, as she drove off he tried thinking about reasons for her silence and his imagination got the better of him ’Maybe I’m a bad kisser now.’ he said to himself frowning, he enjoyed it, more than enjoyed it, ’No that’s not it Kyle, don’t be so dramatic.’ he shunned himself; he was going to get himself worked up for nothing. Kyle had these inner conversations with himself often, especially when he was trying to figure something out ’If that’s not it…' he thought as he looked at Ava, ’She must be in shock, all of this is a lot to take in over such a short period of time.’ he finally came to a conclusion.

”I think I’ll go home now, I’m glad we’ve started talking everything out….

[/color] he said to her as she brought the car to a stop at a traffic light ”But I think we both need time to process things. he added on after a tiny pause, hoping she wouldn’t see this as him blowing her off. Ava agreed, fortunately for him, but her mood stayed the same, she still seemed to be deep in thought. The drive to his house was silent but Kyle’s mind was racing, it was Ava’s kiss which triggered his memory, he was sure of it, but he wasn’t going to tell Ava, he couldn’t, it sounded too much like something out of a fairytale, it sounded ridiculous.

When they reached his house Kyle thanked Ava for going to the trouble of finding him and told her he would text or call her soon, then gave her a small kiss on her cheek before he got out of the car and watch as it drove off, waving at her with a smile. He then headed inside; he couldn’t wait to tell his parents that he remembered something. They both shared in his excitement, he did leave a few parts out though, like the fact that he ‘till this very moment had a mother of a migraine and the fact that his nose bled after everything came back to him. He and his parents spent hours talking about things, about his childhood, about sports, about his dad teaching him how to drive again and things like that.

It was way past ten when Kyle finally made it into bed, he felt very tired, but had one last thing he wanted to do before sleeping, text Ava.[/blockquote][/font]