Please Forgive Me ``Becky

[melissawright]

SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD
• to believe there's someone else who could be •
JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME

Stress. The only word that Melissa Wright could fit into her world at the moment. Moving out to Jacksonville was stressing enough. Having find a place to stay with relatively cheap rent, a place to work, and not to mention the actual moving of things itself. Everything had been going well. She settled in, found a good job, found a place that she liked... And then she ran into her brother. At first reaction, she was not thrilled about it. After all, the only reason she was here was because their parents thought it would be good for her to move to Jersey to keep an eye on the younger Wright kids. And running into Tim had at first reminded her why she'd been so annoyed at having to move in the first place. But after sitting down and having a civilized conversation with him, she thought this might actually be a good thing.

It seemed like both of them were going to actually try to patch up the wreck that was their relationship. However, this was Tim. He hadn't been influenced by her abuse as much as their other sister. Becky had been through the biggest hell. Mel thought to the online chat they had had recently. Becky had been less than thrilled that she was even in the same state. She didn't expect her little sister to forgive her easily. She was still surprised Tim was being so calm about everything. She stood up from her chair, grabbing her keys and phone. She got the biggest ice cream craving in her life. She tugged her jacket over her shoulders, grabbed her purse and walked to the door. She hadn't gone out much since running into Tim. But ice cream was a good enough excuse to drag her bum out of her apartment and outside.

Mel locked the door behind her, walking down to her car. It was actually nice out. Which was good, considering she had worn a skirt. Then again, Jersey was a little warmer than NYC, so it actually wasn't bad at all. She got into her car, starting the engine and pulling out of her apartment parking lot. She made her way downtown to the local Baskin Robbins ice cream shop. It was nice to have variety in the town. And it was nice to have somewhere that had everything in a smaller setting. NYC had been overloaded with everything. Not that she had minded of course. But she liked being in a place that wasn't bustling with people at every hour of the day. She stopped at a red light, seeing the ice cream shop ahead of her. The craving jumped a bit, just seeing the sign for the shop. It was going to be a really nice treat. She needed it.

She drove to the parking lot for the shop, parking and getting out. She made sure she had everything before locking the car door and walking into the store. Ah, it smelled so good. She looked over the options, stepping up and ordering a simple vanilla cone, with sprinkles. She didn't go out for ice cream often, but for some reason, she felt like being a kid today and get rainbow sprinkles. She paid for her treat, going over and sitting at one on the tables near the window. There was nothing better than having a delicious treat and people watching. She did it all the time in New York. It was interesting to see how so many different people could live in one place. Although, she didn't see as many strange people here as she did when she was back at school. She pulled out her phone, her attention off the window for a few seconds.

TAGGED ! becky
WORDS ! enough..
OUTFIT ! CLICK
LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet
TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
NOTES ! here goes nothing =]

[rebecca]

OUTFIT!

Becky had been trying to forget that her sister Mel was in town ever since she had been online and they had spoken. She didn’t like the fact she had been a little harsh, maybe she could have been nicer but she didn’t really know what to think. All of a sudden, after all the years of her being so nasty and so mean to her, she was now wanting to fix things? Her friend’s brother may have passed away, and yes it was a good enough reason but Becky couldn’t just let her back in that easily. She just didn’t want to either, did Mel expect her to do just that? She shook her head when she thought about it. She really didn’t know what her sister wanted from her, well she did but she didn’t know whether she wanted to do that. It sounded mean but she just could not trust her after all the years of putting up with her crap. She would have liked to have a sister who cared about her growing up, but sadly she had not been able to get to know her or anything like that, if Mel really wanted to be a part of her life, she had a long way to go before they could be normal with each other and for Becky to feel that she could trust her. That was just the way it was, she was going to make sure that this was going to be on her terms. She was going to have to let Mel know all this, and speak to her maturely, that was going to be hard but she would have to try her best, she needed to try at least, so that she wasn’t being the bitch, because with Timmy giving her a chance, she was now on her own and it was Mel and Timmy against her, not her and Timmy against Mel like it usually was. She felt sad that for once, her brother was not on her side.

She wasn’t doing much except lazing around the dorm; she thought it would be better if she got out of the dorm, she was already dressed but Becky wasn’t the type to spend ages on her makeup or anything. She did her hair up, put a bit of makeup on and looked in the mirror smiling at herself and thinking that she looked fine as she was. A little bit of foundation was all she needed. Becky had been told that she was naturally pretty anyway, but that wasn’t why she used as little makeup as possible. She just thought it was nicer to be more natural. Plus her mother always told her never to overdo her makeup and that she really did not need it and Becky was the type of girl who always listened to her mother. She was ready in the space of almost twenty minutes and grabbed her dorm key and bag, heading into town. She didn’t exactly know where she was going to go, but she knew she had to get the number fourty two bus, Tim had told her when she had wanted to get some food, eventually they had gone together, because she hadn’t wanted to go alone. Now she was brave enough to do that herself, but no Becky was craving something different today; Ice cream.

She walked into basking robbins and went to the counter. hay, can I get a small scoop of cookie dough please? In a bowl she said politely. While she waited she looked around and spotted... Mel? she sighed slightly, well she had been holding it off long enough, she really did need to talk to her, Ice cream would calm her at least. She paid for the ice cream and took it over to where her sister was sitting and took a deep breath. Hay....um....do you mind if I sit down? she asked. Before she could get an answer, she had decided to sit down anyway. Even if Mel told her to go away, she needed to get what she wanted to say out. Okay so I was a little mean with that conversation she admitted. It was hard to admit that, but I just did she nodded. If you really want to make things right, it’s not going to happen overnight, it can’t happen like that, you’ll have a lot to make up for and we’ll just have to go step by step. she nodded. I would have loved to have an older sister around when I was a little younger you know? But you didn’t want to know me she sighed. But I’m willing now, I am willing to let you in, for you to be my sister. It won’t be easy though, for either of us she let out a long sigh, that was a relief. Now I have said that I can leave if you want me to she told her, ready to get up off the chair, take her ice cream and leave, but she kind of didn’t want to.

OOC I'm sorry I got a little carried away

[melissawright]

SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD
• to believe there's someone else who could be •
JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME

Melissa was thankful to have the day off to do whatever she pleased. She loved her job of course, but it was also nice to get some time off sometimes. And she’d picked a good day to take off. The sun was out, and the temperature wasn’t as bad as it had been the past few weeks. She flipped down the shade in her car, having conveniently forgotten her sunglasses back in her apartment. She knew she had forgotten something. Oh well. she still had the more important things with her, like her wallet and her phone. She was just happy to be out. She finally had started to feel like she actually belonged in the town. When she had first got there, it was awful. She had really only come there for a specific reason, and it wasn’t the best one. All thanks to the parentals of course. Go figure. They were always trying to patch everything up. Not that she minded right now. Especially since she was actually trying to fix everything she’d nearly destroyed. Not that she expected everything to be magically fixed.

She knew that would never happen. Her siblings were the people least likely to trust her on anything. More for her sister than her brother. At least Tim seemed to want to try to understand everything. Of course, she didn’t know to what extent that might be to, but it was better than being shunned out. Which was quite nearly what her little sister had done during their previous online conversation. She never expected Becky to forgive her. She doubted she’d ever even gain a remote amount of positive feelings from the younger Wright girl. She had a feeling that if they met face to face, there might not be a lot of nice things to say. She did want to prove to her younger sister that she was actually trying to get a better relationship with them. Not just for their parent’s sake, but for her own as well. She didn’t want to have something happen to them and have all her feelings of regret. She had even had nightmares about getting a call from their parents, and having to hear that either one or both of her siblings had been in an accident and hadn’t made it through.

Mel woke up sobbing with those. Not that she’d even dare to tell her siblings that. Tim had nearly caught her crying when they met at the mall, but she managed to catch herself in enough time. If they knew about her nightmares, she’d be doomed for the rest of her life. Something told her they’d happily hold it over her. She sighed, shaking any depressing though out of her head as she parked her car at the ice cream shop. Ice cream was too good to be upset about. If she wanted to be depressed with the cold treat, she’d have stayed at home with a pint of chocolate ice cream. But today was much too nice to spoil over her own fears. She almost felt like a little kid walking into the store. She could remember going to shops like this with her parents before her siblings were born. Looking at all the options, always struggling to pick the best one. It was one of the main reasons she wanted to get the rainbow sprinkles. It was a reminder of a time when she hadn’t been worried about a single thing. She sat with her treat, licking off a little as she checked her phone. A message from Mom saying hi, and hoping everything was going well.

She mentally reminded herself that she should call home when she got back to her apartment. Her senses perked up as she heard someone else walk in and speak. She’d be crazy not to recognize that voice. She glanced in the direction of the voice, hearing her name being spoken. Yup, it was definitely Becky. A small smile wove over her lips as she tucked her phone back into her bag. She could worry about that later. She nodded as her little sister asked to sit. “Of course.. please..” She was surprised that her sister was being calm and collected after the tone she had sent over the internet. She would have figured Becky would just get her treat and leave immediately. Her frozen dessert was forgotten for a few minutes as she listened to Becky talk. She could have figured as much. She shook her head as the younger girl said she could leave if it was best. “No, you don’t have to go anywhere. And you shouldn’t have had to apologize either. We both know I pretty much deserved it.” She paused for a second or two before continuing. “I know I was never a good sister.. and I really do want to try to make up for everything I put you and Tim through.” She looked down at the table, trying to choose her words. “As much as I doubt you’d believe it… it was partly jealousy when we were growing up that made me such a… well, bitch.” There really wasn’t any other word for it.

TAGGED ! becky
WORDS ! enough..
OUTFIT ! CLICK
LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet
TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
NOTES ! ta-dah!

[rebecca]

Becky listened to her sister carefully. She knew that what she was saying was most likely genuine. She didn’t know her sister all that well but now that they were face to face she knew that she was being serious. She still wasn’t going to just let her back in, she wasn’t going to be a pushover with her. Mel had to earn her right to be a proper sister again, even though she wanted that to happen deep down. She did feel kind of bad for her though, Becky couldn’t help it because it was just her nature, and she usually always felt guilty about something. Maybe so... she said. But I’m not a bitch, unlike you she replied to her. even though I slapped you that time. Which I guess I am sorry for in some way she rolled her eyes. I still say you deserve it though.Mel was the one person Becky could be really honest with, apart from Tim. Usually she hated confrontation but since she had been put through so much with Mel, she had made herself stand up for herself with her, but usually she really would not do it, at school she was an easy target and she made that herself.

At least we agree on that one she said with a small smile. You know, I never wanted to not like you? It’s not like I ever like, really hated you she went on. When I was really little I really looked up to you, I never got why you were being mean, then I caught on and just stuck with Tim she said It upset me at first, like....’why doesn’t my big sister like me?’ you know? she told him. You never had a real reason though, if you had a reason it would make this whole thing a whole lot better. I wish I was the older one, maybe I have been immature on this whole thing, and maybe I am immature anyway....I guess I need to grow up she said sadly. But it is hard being the youngest, yeah I may get away with more but you and Tim have both been really good in school, I have to live up to you guys, I know I can but it’s a lot of pressure you know? she said taking some scoops of her ice cream. She was glad Tim wasn’t working today, she wanted it to be just her and Mel right now.

I guess I do believe that it was jealousy she shrugged. In a way she guessed it was understandable that she had been jealous. I mean we were.....are really close. Then there was you she said with a small smile. It had always been Becky and Tim against her, but she actually thought that was what she had wanted. She never really thought that she might have been jealous. You could have tried though she said bluntly. You know, made some effort? It wouldn’t have hurt, and we would have liked to have you around. I guess when Tim went away to school that was when things got really bad. It was just you and me so that meant you were all up in my face... she said feeling the tears. You were just so mean and I still don’t really understand why you did some of the things you did she said sadly. And the whole thing at Christmas, that was just...well it basically sucked, I don’t know why you can’t just accept him for who he is. He is our brother and he is still the same person she said.

OOC//It's not great. My next one will be better though, I apologise for the lameness

[melissawright]

SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD
• to believe there's someone else who could be •
JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME

Mel wanted everything to change in her life. She wanted to be the person that her siblings could look up to. To be the person that they could come to with their problems or if they just needed to vent about something that had happened during the day. She didn’t want to be cut off from her family. As much as her actions in the past reflected in no way whatsoever that she cared, she did still very much want to make amends for her past. She took a few licks of her ice cream as she listened to Becky talk. She knew that Becky was the one she really had to impress. She smiled weakly as she was pretty much called a complete bitch. She knew that was true. She hadn’t been exactly the nicest person around. “Honestly, don’t be sorry. I did deserve it.”

She did deserve any bad comments that Becky could possibly say now. She’d emotionally compromised her own sister, and she knew that anything nice towards her would be a lie as of the moment. She couldn’t help to crumble a bit inside as Becky continued to speak. Knowing that her little sister had tried to look up to her, and couldn’t understand why she’d been so mean nearly broke her. She felt like crap for having done that. She knew that she had been awful, but she didn’t know about that. She turned around to drop her unfinished cone into the garbage can behind her. Somehow after Becky explained that part, she’d completely lost her appetite. She couldn’t believe how much of a bitch she’d actually been. She knew she hadn’t been nice to her siblings, but this was a whole new low.

“I’m so sorry Becky… I knew I was mean.. but I had no idea what I was actually doing to you…” Mel looked down at her clasped hands on the table. She felt awful now. Like a puppy that just got kicked. She didn’t even know where to begin on apologizing. She kept listening as her sister spoke. She shook her head as growing up was mentioned. “No… I think if you made it through all the hell that I put you through.. you’ve grown up more than half the morons at my school.” She sighed lightly, running a hand over her hair. She smiled lightly as Becky admitted to having to follow in her and Tim’s footsteps for school. “But you shouldn’t have to be under that pressure. You should work at your strengths, who cares if you don’t do things as well as Tim and I do? Heck, I did better in some things than he did.” She leaned back in her seat, one leg crossing over the other as they sat together.

She really did regret everything she’d put her siblings through. She didn’t even know if she could make up for everything. She almost felt guilty enough to offer to buy them anything they wanted, but she didn’t have enough money, nor did she think that buying them something would make up for it all. She felt terrible for everything she did. She reached across the table to lightly pat Becky’s hand. “I know it’ll be a while before you’d ever forgive me Becks.. but I do feel awful for everything I did. And I know my behavior over Christmas was inexcusable, and I did apologize to him for it. I think it was just such a big shock that my mouth started to talk before my head even computed it all.” Her dark locks fell down around her shoulders as her gaze dropped to the table. She knew that her response to Tim’s sexuality was a bit overkill. “I just want to try to make it all up to both of you. I really do."

TAGGED ! becky
WORDS ! enough..
OUTFIT ! CLICK
LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet
TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
NOTES ! that was soooo late.. and i rambled.. sorry!!

[rebecca]

Not gonna argue she said to her with a small smile. Becky wasn’t usually confrontational; she didn’t like fights or arguments, or anything like that. I don’t get how all of a sudden you can just change though....a lepard doesn’t change its spots you know! she said. I guess it was only me and Tim you were nasty to though, so I can kinda understand, you don’t have to really change much she went on. That is what annoyed me most growing up. You were nice to your friends but a bitch to me, I wanted so many times to hang out with you and your friends, do girl stuff and you made that hard...and also going though changes its not been easy...I mean mom tried but its awkward talking to your parents about that stuff. It would have been better talking to my big sister about it. I may as well have been invisible to you she frowned. And when I wasn’t I just got bullied. Tim and I are close, really close, he is like, one of my best friends and I’m not going to apologise for our closeness, we wouldn’t have minded you joining in every once in a while. She was being honest with her because she needed to hear it. I don’t want to argue though. she shrugged.

You had no idea? she said raising her voice a little Really? she frowned more and looked at her. Did you not notice me crying? she asked her. Oh wait, you were probably oblivious she snapped. For someone who didn’t like confrontations or arguments she could hold up pretty well. Yeah well.... she replied I guess you want me to thank you for that right? Pfft! she laughed. There was no way she was going to thank her for that. No, you don’t get it, I don’t just feel the need to be as good as you both, I WANT to as well she sighed. I’m a high achiever. I work hard in school and get good grades. But I’m worried I won’t do as well as you and Tim, I don’t want to disappoint anyone she said. Not that mom and dad are the type who would be disappointed in me, and telling me you did better than Tim in some things really doesn’t make me impressed, it certainly doesn’t help she said, her voice getting softer. She didn’t really want to fight and she had to try not to get so emotional or annoyed and angry at Mel right now but she was finding it hard still. She just needed to try and chill out more and she knew in time it would be easier to do that.

I really am glad you feel awful she told her Because you should Becky said with a nod. And I am kinda glad that what your friend went through made you see sense she told her Even though it is really horrible, I mean like you said I won’t forgive you straight away.... she began, But I can start forgiving you and we can do the things normal sisters do. I mean it might actually be kind of fun she smiled. I mean we hardly know ANYTHING about each other and we’re family, that is just crazy. It was crazy, completely crazy....especially since it had taken this long to actually get them to talk. She knew it was the most she had spoken to her ever. I think this is the most we have ever spoken to each other she pointed out. I’m still saying it won’t be easy, I am not going to pretend it will, but if we both make an effort we can make this work. Just think how impressed mom and dad will be! she said grinning. She had to admit, she was rather excited about having Mel in her life, and not just being there, actually being apart of her life and being interested in what she was doing, and vice versa...after all they could really both be guilty of not making more of an effort before, but with Mel being so horrible to her, Becky never wanted to.

[OOC;sorry it took so long! This reply was better though, as promised!]

[melissawright]

SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD
• to believe there's someone else who could be •
JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME

Melissa knew it would take time for her to even get a small step towards Becky wanting her around. She supposed on some level it might have been better if she had just stayed in school instead of taking a year off. Seeing how upset her sister was at just having to sit there and explain the hell she had gone through, made her think that maybe not being around at all might make her life better. But she didn’t want that. She loved her family, and no matter how long it took for her to mend all the problems, she’d do it. Just to feel like she belonged back in their lives. At the moment she was more like a random bitchy girl that came over to the house for a week during school breaks and left making everyone feel terrible. She sighed as Becky started to explain her yearning for wanting to hang out with her and her friends when she was younger. That nearly made her cry. “I’m really sorry Becky… even though I know sorry hardly covers it.

If I could change everything, I would. I never wanted to make you feel invisible. I was just… threatened I guess… Just seeing how close you and Tim were made me feel like an outcast. I never got the chance to have a sibling close to my own age, and I know that probably sounds stupid. But I really do regret pushing you both away.” She didn’t deserve respect from Becky, and she knew it. She listened as Becky confirmed how close she and Tim were, and all she could do was look down at her hands. A weak smile covered her lips as the younger girl said it would have been okay for her to join in their fun sometime. “Even if I had joined in… I don’t think I would have fit in with you guys. I know that sounds pretty dumb right?” Truth was, she didn’t want to argue either. She just wanted to start working on whatever was left of their relationship. “I did notice. But I was stuck so high on the pedestal I made for myself that I did nothing about it. It’s probably one of the things I regret the most.”

Mel could remember flouncing off to her room while Becky was sitting crumpled on the floor, sobbing. At the time she had felt proud of herself, having put the younger girl in what Mel thought, was her place. But every time she thought about it after being in college, it made her sick to think she could have walked away so easily. “No… I don’t. because I know I deserve to be thanked. For anything.” She winced visibly as Becky snapped at her. This entire conversation made her feel like she was only two feet high. Or less. She swallowed as she listened to the junior explain her reasons for trying well in school. “Becks… look, as much as I shouldn’t say this, Mom and Dad do keep me updated on how you two do in school. You shouldn’t be worried in disappointing anyone. And you’re right, saying I’ve done better in things wasn’t exactly the best thing to say, but you have strengths that I don’t. And you shouldn’t feel like you have to measure up to whatever Tim and I have done.“

She didn’t want Becky to feel like she had to follow everything. Especially her. She wanted her little sister to be happy with everything in her life. To work hard simply because she liked the subjects and wanted to do well. Not for trying to measure up to the siblings ahead of her. She smiled softly as Becky said she was happy that she felt awful. Okay, she deserved that. “I know… I understand. And I really do hope I manage to earn your forgiveness. And I’d like being able to hang out some… and I don’t think I’ve missed everything that you could go through. So I can actually be around to help… if you’d want it of course.” She loved the idea of being able to talk with Becky about girl things, boys, clothes, whatever. She never got to before. “I really want this to work Becks… I really do.” She smiled softly, taking a risk and reaching across to place her hands over one of her sisters. “So… how’s school going?” A light chuckle flowed out of her mouth, just thinking how ridiculous that sounded.

TAGGED ! becky
WORDS ! enough..
OUTFIT ! CLICK
LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet
TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
NOTES ! so sorry for the wait!! i tried to make it count =]

[rebecca]

Yeah. I know....but it doesn’t make up for everything she said honestly. We’re just going round in circles here, so isn’t it better just to move on with this part now? she asked. You are sorry, I get it....but it’s not gonna be an overnight change, y’know? she said simply. That was the truth, there was seriously no point in going over and over the same thing just to get the point across so Becky was taking it upon herself to change that and just say they should leave it because it wasn’t worse hearing it again if she was honest. Well you can’t change it she said to her And you shouldn’t have felt threatened, we were kids and didn’t know any better, so I grew up hating you cos you were so mean to us both she went on. You know it already but it really was not fun in the slightest bit she shook her head. This was very hard for me to do, but I think I am being mature in actually giving you a chance here, I just...well I thought that I should do because it was the right thing to do and I had to be mature she said with a nod. If I am being honest I did not want to come and see you, meet up with you but I left myself having no choice in the matter and it bugged me. I was a bitch when I spoke to you earlier and that is just not me in the slightest.

it does sound really dumb she said glaring at her Not gonna lie she shrugged I mean it shouldn’t have felt like that at any stage, we are family and no matter what we would have let you join, but you didn’t bother so we just carried on. It got to the point where we knew that we wouldn’t get anywhere with you so we tried to not let it bother us, we were a little immature...making up nicknames for you and kinda giving you a little stick back, more behind your back though she admitted It seemed the only way we could get out our frustration for all of it because you wouldn’t talk to us or even listen when we had something to say, so what was the use in us saying something to you right? she went on. There would have been no point if you weren’t going to listen she said to her You get the whole point right? she said. I mean nothing we did was anything like what you did to us, we weren’t malicious or anything, we just acted that way because we were sick of you, plus we were kids so you know, that is also a factor, we didn’t really know any better, and we didn’t know how you felt she shrugged. I guess we are slightly guilty of it as well. We could have sorted this out years ago you know she said with a small smile. It was true as well. It could have been sorted a while ago.

Oh so you did notice? That is just great she scoffed. That doesn’t matter whether I don’t need to worry! she said. I do! she put her head in her hands for a minute I have two of you to follow and be just as good as, it may not be a big deal to anyone else but it is to me, maybe I am just a really high achiever she shrugged I don’t think that is necessarily a bad thing though, do you? she asked her. I want to be myself and not be compared to you or Tim, which some people do she said. It happens at school when people find out I am Tim’s sister. I know they expect me to be just as good as him she blabbered on. She smiled genuinely You know I think it would actually be nice for you to be able to do that, and act like a sister for a change she told her. It would make things easier, maybe, but you don’t have the power to tell me what I should and should not be doing at this point, just so you know she said sternly. Then when she turned the subject to school Becky shrugged It’s not bad, it’s school, you know? she smiled slightly. Becky actually loved school but she still did not want to be overly friendly with her sister at this time.

[melissawright]

SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD
• to believe there's someone else who could be •
JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME

Melissa couldn’t help but think that meeting up with Becky was the right thing to happen. She didn’t want to feud with her siblings anymore. Even if it took them time to believe her saying that. She didn’t want to end up as one of those family members that never got in touch except in emergencies. She wasn’t going to let that happen. And the more she listened to her little sister talk, the more she knew she did really want to fix everything. She wanted to be in their lives regardless of if they wanted her in them. She was still going to try to be the older sister they could talk to and look up to. Although the latter was probably going to be the hardest to attain. Especially for Becky. She hadn’t exactly shown her little sister how to act like a proper older sibling. “I know it won’t be overnight. I just want you to give me a second chance. That’s all.” She smiled softly, her dark brown locks cascading down her shoulders.

“I know I shouldn’t have felt threatened, but at that point, I was. You two were just so close, and shared so much in common. The age barrier I think just got to me, and I felt that if I couldn’t deal with it, the only way to show I knew you were there was to pick on you. And trust me, saying that out loud makes me wish I could slap myself for being so stupid.” She looked down at her hands before continuing. “And if you ask me, you’re a lot more mature than I was at your age. As I’m sure you can remember. Honestly, I wish I had been more like you in that respect.” She re-crossed her ankles under the table, listening as Becky went on. She really did wish she could do over a lot in her life. But all she could do now was try to mend it as best she could. “I don’t blame you for the way you acted when we talked online. I deserved it, and we both know it. Sometimes it’s best to let out anger like that.” She wasn’t hurt by the way her little sister had acted.

She knew she had it coming, and just wanted Becky to be comfortable around her again. She smiled softly as Becky stated that she and Tim had made up names for her when they were younger, not surprised at all. “If I could do it all over Becks, I would. Trust me. I already hate myself for wasting all that time being awful, when I should have been there to protect you guys. And to help you become the sort of people Mom and Dad want us all to become. But I can also see that you and Tim have done that easily without my help.” Mel tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear as they continued their conversation. She shook her head as Becky said the way they acted was partially from being kids. “No… you did know better. If anything, even if it wasn’t meant, you were really just trying to show me the same respect I showed you. Which was nothing. In all honesty, I should have seen what I was doing, and stopped acting like a selfish brat. And it’s my fault that I didn’t.”

She sighed softly, leaning back in her chair. She didn’t want her siblings to feel sorry about acting out against her. She had needed it. “You shouldn’t feel guilty. You both have nothing to be guilty about. If anything, you should be proud that you defended yourselves so well.” She knew that sounded a bit weird, but it was true. It meant that they could deal with anything, if they could have turned out so well after all her trouble. She looked into her sister’s face as Becky claimed she had to do as well in school. “I still don’t think you need to stress over it. I understand the pressure and everything, but you can’t forget to add in your own unique stance. Besides, the last thing the school system needs is three Wright sibling clones.” She chuckled softly, the thought of it popping into her head. Wouldn’t that be the day? She smiled, nodding in agreement to Becky’s next statement. “I really want that. I honestly just want to be the big sister you guys never had.

I want to be here for you, and I want to be someone you guys can come to for anything. And don’t worry, I think Mom takes the role of telling you that stuff.” She chuckled, shaking her head slightly. “I won’t tell you what to do, but I can’t promise not to offer suggestions. I have to be an older sister about some things you know.” She winked playfully, knowing Becky might still find that as plan B. She nodded as Becky stated school was school. “Okay… how about guys? Find anyone you like?” She was trying.

TAGGED ! becky
WORDS ! enough..
OUTFIT ! CLICK
LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet
TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
NOTES ! ah.. siblings.. intense