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[lirie]

The weeks after Kyle left Ava seemed to crawl by, he was heartbroken and both his parents knew there was something terribly wrong with him, he barely spoke, refused to tell them what happened and ate less that a bird. All he wanted was to be left alone, he didn’t want pity, he didn’t want to do anything but to sit in his room playing the guitar and sleep He never anticipated his to feel this bad and instead of getting any better it seemed to get worse every day, he had given up all hope on ever getting over Ava after about two days and just decided that he would life with how he felt now, he wasn’t going to go back, beg for forgiveness, because he knew being around her, but not being with her would be a worse sort of torture. Besides, he had not heard anything from her in three weeks, so he figured she accepted everything and moved on.

It was day seven of week three and Kyle sat outside his house, on the grass and played the guitar, his face blank like it has been since the day he left Ava’s dorm. Since then his migraines were almost constant, which blurred his vision, but he ignored it and got used to it after a while, the pain was a reminder to him that he was still alive, that he was still human, even though he didn’t feel like he was. He had heard from the doctor, but he said that as far as he could see on the CT, everything was fine and that Kyle just had to come back for one more scan, which he never did, he hated that damn hospital, the only reason he went back that time was to please Ava anyway, but he didn’t need to do that anymore, since she wasn’t in his life anymore.

Kyle closed his eyes as his migraine intensified and images of Ava swam through his mind, he wished he could forget them in a way, but also didn’t want to, since those memories of them together was the only link he still had to her, it both hurt and comforted him at the same time, as strange as that might sound. As soon as Kyle opened his eyes, he got up, feeling light headed and dizzy he made his way back into the house, where his parents sat on the coach watching TV. ”Kyle? Are you alright?” his father asked when he heard Kyle’s mother gasped, looking at his pale faced son with a concerned smile. Kyle could barely hear his dad; it sounded to him like he was under water and someone was trying to talk to him through it. The room spun around him, so he closed his eyes, not answering his father’s question, instead he swayed from side to side, feeling himself loose consciousness. Before his dad could make it over to him, Kyle fell to the floor and blood slowly started to run out his nose.

His mother’s scream was the first sound after the sound of Kyle dropping to the floor; she ran into the kitchen and grabbed the phone, dialing 911 as fast as she could. Kyle’s dad knelt down beside Kyle, trying to wake his son, begging him, softly slapping him on his chin, but Kyle didn’t move, not even slightly. Ten minutes later an ambulance arrived, paramedics surrounded Kyle and checked his pulse, which made his mother cry even harder, Kyle was alive though, so they proceeded by carefully putting him onto a gurney and rolling him outside toward the ambulance, As they put Kyle in the back, his mom and dad ran to their car, phones and jackets in hand and once the ambulance drove off in the direction of the hospital, sirens blaring, they followed.

Once at the hospital Kyle’s doctor immediately sent him for an emergency CT, his previous head injury being the reason for it, the doctor couldn’t think of anything else that could cause his sudden collapse and since Kyle never told him about his migraines returning and never came back for his second scan the doctor couldn’t predict or anticipate what they found. It turned out that Kyle had suffered an intracranial hemorrhage, which in short means that a damaged blood vessel in Kyle’s brain was leaking blood and blood was building up his scull, to such an extent that it was now causing pressure on Kyle brain and could kill him if they didn’t act fast.

After the doctor discovered this a nurse was sent to his parents in the waiting area to explain everything to them and to tell them that their son was on his way to surgery. Kyle’s mother’s legs gave out and his dad had to keep her from falling, though he was equally as devastated he knew someone had to keep a level-head, had to charge of everything that needed to be done. Once his dad got his mom to sit down, he followed the nurse to sign some papers, giving them permission to operate on Kyle. Kyle’s mom cried uncontrollably for about ten minutes, but then suddenly stopped, thinking about Ava, Kyle never gave her the specifics about why he was in such a state, but his mother put two and two together by herself and figured out that it was about her, that something happened between them. She then took out her phone, went through her contacts and once she reached Ava’s number she pressed dial, holding it to her ear seconds later and waiting for Ava to answer, she thought that if there was anyone that could get Kyle to fight, to come back, it was her.

Once Ava answered Kyle’s mom starting rambling frantically, her voice cracking as she held back her tears ”Ava!, please, come, come to the hospital, he needs you, I know you could help, he loves you, please Ava, please!”

[ava]

The water flowed down the drain in a circular motion as Ava turned the bathroom sink off and made her way back downstairs to Eli’s living room. In the weeks since Kyle’s ultimatum and leaving the dorm things had gotten a bit more comfortable between them. It wasn’t that she would have chosen to have Kyle walk out on her like he had but without even having the option of choosing between them anymore there was only one way she could go. That way was to focus on her relationship with Eli and getting her life back to what it had been again before he showed up like he had. “Did you decide if you wanted to order Chinese?” Ava asked taking a seat on the couch and picking up the menu from the coffee table. School had actually been good, but she was exhausted and hungry when she showed up at his apartment at the end of the day.

Picking up her bag from the floor beside her Ava pushed her hand through its contents digging around to find her phone which started going off before she had even managed to pull it out. Frantically she dumped the contents out onto the couch pulling it from the pile and without even looking at who had been calling placed it up to hear ear, “Hello?” she greeted trying to catch her breath.

Between the sobs and cries it was hard to make out who she was talking to until Ava heard the woman tell her that he needed her, he loved her. It was Kyle’s mother and something was terribly wrong, something that had taken them back to the hospital. Her heart jumped into her throat and her eyes looked over at Eli who was taking his time looking for food as his mom droned on in tears about what was going on. “I’m leaving right now. I will be there as soon as I can okay?” Immediately Eli’s eyes looked up over the menu at her in a disapproving glare as she didn’t wait for a reply from the other end of the line instead hanging up the phone and beginning to put her things back into her bag. “Where are you going?” he asked her his voice a bit discontent and curious before he even knew the answer to his own question. “Kyle is back in the hospital, that was his mother calling, asking me to come.”

Ava put the last handful of things back into her bag and looked at him letting her body slump a little as she gave him apologetic eyes. She hadn’t meant to come over just to run off again, it wasn’t her original plan, but she couldn’t ignore what was happening either. “I have to go, I am sorry.” Eli’s eyes turned furious. Kyle hadn’t been the only one to know about her confusion, being stuck between the two of them and the conversation after Kyle had left the dorm that night between her and Eli included a promise that it was over. “If you go, don’t come back.” He told her throwing the menu onto the table and standing up from his perch on the couch. She closed her eyes taking in a deep breath again and trying to not so much contemplate what to do because there was only one real choice, but instead prepare herself for the consequences. “I said I was sorry.” That was all she could say, she picked her bag up and walked out the front door stopping to look back one more time as he looked at her in disbelief before shutting the door behind her on her way out.

The car didn’t seem to speed away from the house fast enough as Ava tried to get from the apartment to the hospital as fast as she could. Running through the sliding doors she found a map on the wall and followed it exactly til she found herself standing in front of Kyle’s mother wrapping her in a hug as she started crying again. “I got here as fast as I could. What is going on?” She let go of his mother as she wiped away her tears and began explaining what had happened at the house before they called 911. Right away Ava felt that pang again, she had known the first time he had a migraine coupled with the nose bleed that something had to be terribly wrong, and they should have told his mother so that she could be more aware of what was going on and watched him for signs.

It seemed like hours before the doctors came back out as Ava waited with Kyle’s parents. They took turns going to the bathroom and cafeteria and checking in at the desk to get updates as they felt the need to gather a bit more reassurance. When the doctor finally came out and promised them a good outcome she felt the relief flood her body finally letting go of some of the tension. He was awake and they were given permission to go back but she wasn’t sure that she was ready just yet for it and let his parents go in first taking her seat again in the waiting room to spend some time to herself and think for a few minutes first. A few minutes turned into an hour before she had realized it and she made herself get up out of the chair and find her way back to the room. Ava knocked on the door lightly opening it up and looking inside to see his mother and father sitting on either side of the bed while he slept again.

His mother looked up seeing her standing there and smiled removing herself from her seat pushing it back against the wall and waving his father out behind her. She stopped momentarily at the door placing her hand on Ava’s shoulder and told her they would be back after a while before disappearing down the hall way again to wherever it was they were going. Ava couldn’t bring herself to move from the doorframe though, to get any closer, instead standing there just watching him sleep with the door hanging open beside her. Kyle had been so angry when he left the dorm, so hurt, he had told her he never wanted to see her again or be apart of her life. Why would that change now? She wanted to be there to see for her own eyes that he was okay, then she would leave again. She didn’t want him to feel like she was disobeying his wishes, and if he woke up he didn’t really even have to talk to her but his mother had asked her to come, and she honestly couldn’t have ever said no. Placing her hands on the door frame she leaned in and set her head down on it content to just stand there and watch him sleep til his parents returned or at least for the moment til she decided to leave again.

TAG. Kyle
WORDS. one-thousand-one-hundred-ninty
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. Basketball game on TV
NOTES. Nope =)
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal!

[lirie]

The moment Kyle hit that floor, he thought This is it, I’m dying.’, but when he was still able to hear everything around him he thought differently, he was unable to move or speak but still conscious in a way. His scull felt like it was going to explode at any second, he tried shouting in pain, but nothing came out, he had lost all control over his body. He heard his mother’s sobs and cries and his father pleading for him to wake up, but even though he tried as hard as he could, he couldn’t get through to them and let them know that he was still alive, in terrible pain yes, but at least they’d know that there was some hope of him pulling through this. What Kyle was experiencing now was different from the coma he was in, in many ways, he had no recollection of being aware of his surroundings when he was in his coma and he was pretty sure he wasn’t in much pain.

When he heard the sirens of an ambulance he knew that they were taking him to the hospital and even though he hated the place with a passion he was relieved, at least they would find a way to make him better, or so he hoped, he knew that if he just let go he would pass on, but even though he was in excruciating pain, he didn’t. The reason why he didn’t just give up was simple, he didn’t want to die yet, he wanted time to say goodbye to his parents, he wanted to see Ava again and tell her that he still loved her with every bit of his heart and soul and every other so called ‘cliché’ in the book that he truly felt for her. A lot of people would think of it as stupid that he didn’t hate her, or at least resent her for what happened, but he couldn’t because a part of him understood why she couldn’t make a decision, he was her first and only love, but who was to say he was the best? How could she have known if she didn’t at least try to play the field, Kyle wasn’t about to stick around for that though, even though the time without her sucked he knew having to share her would hurt even more.

The motion of the ambulance as he was driven to the hospital made his head hurt even worse, if he could, he would be screaming like a little girl, but he couldn’t, which left him having to figure out another way to distract him, he tried singing to himself in his mind, picturing the sunset he had witnessed at the quarry, nothing lulled the pain even remotely, but as soon as his thoughts went to Ava, it was as if the pain subsided, only a little, but it was enough to keep him from giving up. He thought of the first time she kissed him at the quarry, the sensation it caused, he thought about that night at the dorm, how perfect it was before he made her choose, every single good memory of them he had seemed to replay in his mind, over and over again. Before he knew it he was being taken out of the ambulance, so he guessed he was in the hospital, he heard his doctor, sounding frantic, ordering them to send him for a CT and listened to the strange sound it made as it scanned his brain, he didn’t understand any of the hospital staff were using once the scan his done, but he knew that he was going for an operation and that alone made the seriousness of the situation clear.

It wasn’t too long before they got him onto the operating table and pushed an IV into his arm, which stung, but of course they didn’t know that, he wasn’t sure if they even knew that he was in pain, he hoped they would give him some anesthetic though, since he knew them cutting open his scull would be everything but pleasant if they didn’t. When he heard a drill go to his head, he braced himself, but he didn’t feel much, his head still hurt, but the drilling and cutting and whatever else they were doing didn’t make it any worse.
After about ten minutes, Kyle started to feel relieve of his headache, as if a huge rock used to be on top of his head but was now taken off.

He was wheeled out of surgery and pushed for a few minutes before he came to a stand still, he was then lifted from one surface to another softer and much more comfortable one so he figured they must’ve put him in a ward. His doctor came back and checked his vitals, which he announced to be stable; he even lifted Kyle’s eyelids and shone a light into his eyes which Kyle could see, even though he had no control over any part of his body. Just when Kyle started thinking he would stay trapped in his mind forever he felt his leg twitch just a little and tried moving it himself afterwards, which he managed to do, ”Oh look honey! He’s waking up, Kyle?”” he heard his mother say, sounding relieved. A few seconds later Kyle opened his eyes, but squinted against the harsh light in the room, ”Mom?...” was all he could say, his voice was horse, as if those screams he couldn’t get out still hurt his vocal chords.

It didn’t take too long before Kyle was completely awake and talking, which shocked his doctor, he didn’t expect Kyle to be up so soon. But Kyle couldn’t stay awake too long; he felt tired, as he hadn’t slept in days and soon dozed off. When he woke up again, his mom and dad weren’t next to him anymore, instead there was Ava, leaning against the door frame, staring at him ”You creep, how long have you been standing there watching me sleep?” he joked, turning the words she once used on him around on her, chuckling slightly, but the chuckle turned into a cough and the cough caused a sting inside his head, which made him cringe. He took a deep breath and the pain slowly went away, then spoke again, ”You can come closer, I won’t bite.”
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[ava]

Joking or not joking when Kyle awoke and used her own line against her Ava couldn’t make herself break a smile. This was serious, he hadn’t followed up with the doctor like he was supposed to and had just gotten out of major surgery. She lifted her head from the door frame never moving from her post and shrugged, “Long enough.” Probably close to an hour was the better answer in reality, she hadn’t wanted to move any closer in case he did wake up, but she didn’t want to leave just yet either. He promised not to bite and she still didn’t move right away unsure of what felt like the right thing to do.

“I came because I wanted to, because your mother asked me to come, not to upset you. I can leave if you want.” Ava lifted herself out of the door and walked a few steps towards his bed shoving her hands in her pockets and studying the lines on the floor carefully before bothering to speak up again. “We should have told her Kyle. You didn’t want me around and I understand that but someone needed to know what was going on if it wasn’t me. You obviously didn’t care enough to let anyone know there were still problems.” She was furious with him as she looked back up at him her eyes burning through him. Furious that he would let it go on til it came to this because she knew there had to have been signs. “It didn’t stay the same did it? It got worse.” It wasn’t a question because she was more than certain it had, he knew it was coming, whether he realized it or not and just chose to do nothing about it.

TAG. Kyle
WORDS. two-ninty-nine
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. Nothing.
NOTES. Nope =)
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal!

[lirie]

Seeing Ava hesitate broke Kyle’s heart, yes he told her that they could no longer be friends, but in hind-sight that was probably one of the most idiotic things he had ever done, yes it was for his own good, but what good had it done at the end of the day?, he became depressed, careless and hollow, so in other words, it did no good whatsoever. ’Long enough’ was the first words she spoke, the sound of her voice gave him Goosebumps, it was the first time in three weeks hearing her voice and seeing her face and although it was not under the ideal circumstances it still ignited instant joy inside of Kyle, if he had the strength he would’ve hopped out of that bed and hugged her before she even took her first step.

The moment she mentioned leaving Kyle felt his heart drop ”No! Please… Stay, please stay.” he said hastily trying to sit up a bit more but not really succeeding. He grunted and gently put his hand to his bandaged head, he hated feeling so incompetent. As he dropped his hand back down on the bed, he lifted his other, reaching out to Ava as a way of beckoning her to come closer. Kyle knew she was right about the fact that he should’ve told his parents and about the fact that that he stopped caring, but he didn’t know how to even begin explaining it to her, ”I know, You’re right… I, I don’t know how to explain it to you, what was going through my mind…” he said, his voice still cracking a bit here and there, he hung his head in shame, he hated having her so disappointed in him, but he didn’t blame her, he was disappointed in himself too.

Worse? She had no idea, his migraines became constant, his vision blurry, but still he didn’t do anything about it, he didn’t care enough about his own life to do anything, it was until a few hours ago, when he thought he was about to die, that he truly realized how much he didn’t want to. He was hesitant to confirm her suspicion, knowing that whatever her reaction was going to be that it definitely wasn’t going to be good, ”Much…” was all he could get himself to say, still not looking her in the eyes.

As Kyle took a deep breath, he lifted his head slowly, looking at Ava once again, ”I’m sorry, about everything, about being such a,,, Dramaqueen.” he said, not being able to find a better word to describe his behavior, wishing that she would just come close enough for him to touch, he needed to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, that wishful thinking caused his to imagine her being there.

[ava]

Whether or not he elaborated on it the surgery and hospital spoke for themselves about how much worse things had gotten since the last time she saw him. All Ava could think about was the others who didn’t have their lives, the ones who had died in the accident and never had the second chance that Kyle does. He was out for a year, he was having a rough time adjusting to being awake, but he was there, he was able to, wasn’t that enough? Did it really matter what he was thinking? Turning around again she moved to the door shutting it closed behind her before facing him again and moving closer to the bed.

Ava pulled the vinyl 70’s chair out from against the wall and moved it closer to the side of the bed. He had asked her not to go when she mentioned leaving, which meant something had changed in him and she wouldn’t argue with that. Setting her bag against the cold floor to the side of her she took a seat in the chair and moved it as close as she could to the bed placing one of her hands between her knees and the other reaching up to touch the bandage around his head gently. “Does it hurt?” she asked him purposely ignoring his apology. It wasn’t that she didn’t accept it but she didn’t want him to worry about it right then, there were more important things than that, like his health. His eyes were puffy, his head wrapped, and he looked like he had just been beaten by the school bully. There were Iv’s and contraptions connected to him from every direction and although he needed them she felt terrible for him, he hated this place, and now here he was again. If it wasn’t something he needed she would break him out of there, but she knew as well as he did that it just wasn’t possible, he needed to be there with people who could help him. “Your mom and dad left. I am not sure when they were coming back they just told me after a while. I can give you my phone if you wanted to call them and let them know you are awake?”

TAG. Kyle
WORDS.three eighty one
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. Nothing.
NOTES. Nope =)
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal!

[lirie]

When Ava tuned around Kyle almost jumped up, for a moment there he thought she was about to leave, that she decided she made a mistake coming there. As the door clicked closed, with her still inside the room waves of relieve washed over him. Her walking out of that door would’ve crushed him, she didn’t know this, yet, but she was the one person who kept him holding on, got him through the pain even though he though it wouldn’t be possible at times, the second he felt like giving up he saw her face in his mind, where he was trapped in pain and agony for hours.

There it was again, the silence he hated, the silence which usually happened as soon as Kyle talked about something serious. He just wished she would say what was on her mind, so that he could know what she felt, where they stood. But he also understood, because he knew how hard things like that were to put into words. ”A bit yeah…” he replied to her question watching her hand as it travelled toward his head, he of course was toning down a lot, not wanting her to worry about him even more, he knew she was worried, she wouldn’t have been there if she didn’t care and the thought of her still caring gave him hope, hope that over time they’d be in each other’s lives again in some way.

”I, uhm- No, they’ll be back…” he said, it was not that he didn’t want to see his parents again, he just wanted time with Ava more, time to tell her about what happened after he passed out. Kyle sat there silently, not sure how to bring up what happened, but eventually decided just to be random ”It was different than the coma, I could hear everyone, I was aware, I just couldn’t move a muscle.” he said as he looked into her eyes, it was a traumatic experience, it was excruciatingly painful, but at the same time very interesting, He didn’t know how far he should elaborate, once again afraid of how it might effect her, no one liked knowing that someone they love, or loved, whichever it was, was in pain.

”I have a feeling my mom called you thinking I wouldn’t wake up so soon, she knew out of everyone in the world, I was most likely to wake up for you.” he said, paused slightly and then added ”She was right though, you kept me going, even though you weren’t actually there.” not saying exactly how she did that.

[ava]

Ava refrained from digging in her purse for her phone when he said he didn’t want to call his parents back. They would want to know but she figured they needed their time away as well, not stressing constantly over him and watching him for some other sign of a down fall. The way he talked about his being unconscious was like he was intrigued by it. After being in a coma for a year it had to have felt different, being completely aware of your surroundings but unable to take part. Maybe it gave him some sort of confidence, a promise that he wasn’t in the same place he had been before. She finished running her fingers across the bandage one last time and dropped her arm again propping her head up on it looking at him, thankful that he was okay.

It had just been assumed by Ava that Kyle hadn’t told his mom about their falling out, about him telling her he didn’t want her in his life. That is why she had thought she called her, not that it had anything to do with him because if she had known she might think twice. He told her that she kept him going and the guilt inside of her grew even worse, whether or not things with her and Eli were over she didn’t understand the ups and downs he had been through and was still going through. The ins and outs of them, that still, even without her in his life had her as number one. She let her eyes close trying to find something to say to that and came up with nothing as she sat up again and shook her head. “You didn’t want me to be that person Kyle. You wanted me to choose and then when I didn’t you chose for me.” Her mind felt overwhelmed, like it was going to explode in all the confusion. “I don’t understand how after all that you can keep me in this place in your mind.” Those words weren’t exactly defining, she didn’t really know how to explain the place she was speaking of. To be the person that he claimed kept him going, that was a huge responsibility, it was a giant expectation almost, and after everything she had put him through she was still the one. Just about four weeks had even passed since she had spoke to him, let alone given him any indication there was anything left for them. He hadn’t called her to tell her something was wrong, or ask for her help, instead he was willing to just let it go.

Pushing herself up from the chair Ava crossed her arms and walked over to the window her back towards him as she looked out over the parking lot below lit by the street lights in the dark of the falling night. “I am not leaving til they let you go home, I will be here if you need me. But once all this is over I need you to decide if things are going back to how they have been. You don’t have to choose now, you don’t need to think about it at all. But when you leave here, know that I need you to do that. For me.” She had no intention in that moment to tell him about Eli, but she needed to know what he expected from her first when this was all over. Did he want her back in his life, was the pain she put him through worth it, what he had been saying made her think it was. But she didn’t think so. She just wanted him to make a decision for the both of them because this time if he turned away she wasn’t sure she could come running back like this again. They both had to move on if that was their mutual decision, the back and forth only left them both in a state of shock and heartbreak, one they never seemed to get out of and move forward from.

TAG. Kyle
WORDS.six-eighty-five
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. Nothing.
NOTES. Nope =)
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal!

[lirie]

Ava was right, he did end up choosing for her, him leaving her dorm that night pushed her straight in the opposite direction and it was entirely his fault. Only when she said it did he realize how stupid it was to just leave like that, if he hadn’t pushed her to make a decision, if he had just held out for a while, the outcome could’ve been entirely different.
”I did w-want you to be that person Ava.” stuttering slightly from shock, shock about how she misinterpreted why he left. ”I just didn’t want to have to share you, I was selfish, I still am, in essence I’m the most selfish person on earth. When I left, I figured nothing could be worse than seeing you with someone else, that it would be less, painful, to just cut all ties and….” he cut off mid sentence and started coughing, his throat was dry and irritated, but still he pushed on, he needed to make her understand, or at least see a bit of reason for what he did ”Lick my wounds until they healed, so to speak….” he added before taking a deep breath. What he was about to tell her would probably make her feel really guilty, but the only way for her to understand she had to know how he felt, how he was after he left, ”Instead of my ‘wounds’ healing, they got worse….” He started saying, bracketing the word wounds with his fingers as soon as he said it ”I didn’t eat, didn’t speak, didn’t do much of anything… I felt empty, hollow, like a zombie just mechanically going through each day which seemed to last forever. I decided about a week after walking out on you that I was destined to feel that way forever, that I wasn’t ever going to feel any better and just gave up trying to.”

Kyle took a short pause, trying to get his thoughts together in a way that would make at least a bit of sense, ”What I’m basically saying is that I left to avoid getting hurt worse than I had to but just ended up being hurt more than I probably would’ve if I just stuck with you and gave you time… Maybe you would’ve decided to move on yourself, but at least I would’ve had more time with you.” he continued, or basically ended off, he couldn’t figure out what else to say, how to make him understand what he was thinking when he did it, to make her see that he never stopped loving her he was basically just trying to shield himself from heartache.

Her second question’s answer was simple and it was something he had told her before, ”I didn’t stop loving you when I walked out of that dorm room that morning, I don’t necessarily choose to keep you in that place, but I wouldn’t want anyone else to be there... I love you and always will, the thought of you will always be enough to keep me fighting against anything, whether we’re together or not, I love you Ava and I always will.” he said and as he did he felt a single tear fall from his eyelid onto his hand, which he quickly wiped off, he hadn’t cried in so long, it felt strange doing it, he was emotionless and empty, but he preferred crying over that feeling any time.

When Ava asked if Kyle wanted to go back, he almost jumped out of that bed, the only thing stopping him was his heavy head and a lot of machinery, ”Ava, look at me, please.” He said, he needed her to see how serious what he was about to say was ”I never, ever, ever, ever, ever want to lose you again, you can tie me to a tree in the back of your yard and keep me as a pet if you want to, I just want to be a part of your life, no matter what that part might be, I’ll take it. But I’ll always want you, always love you and absolutely nothing, NOTHING, could ever change that.” he said ”I don’t need to think about it, I had weeks to do it…”

[ava]

It had never crossed Ava’s mind that Kyle would react like that, feel all those things about her not being in his life anymore. His words resonated with her, the feelings she remembered all too well, they had been the same things she put herself through for months after the accident. Some of the darkest days she had ever seen through in her life, the lowest she had probably ever been. But his pain was her fault, he hadn’t put her through it, not on purpose anyways. “It would have eventually went away, it has too.” That is what she was told too, whether or not she had ever fully believed it was a different story.

Ava’s chest rose and fell with each breath she took silently standing in the window still. Whether or not she had wanted him to leave she did understand why he had. It wasn’t fair to either of them to play these games, especially to him and she couldn’t have promised if he had stuck around that she would have picked any time soon. She was almost too nice for it, she didn’t want to hurt anyone which would have unintentionally drug things out even longer. He deserved to move on, having more time with her shouldn’t have been the most important thing to him at any point unless she was just as focused on him. Kyle’s voice seemed to raise in frustration as he asked her to turn around and look at him. She pulled the curtains shut blocking out any light from the outside as she fought with herself for a moment before finally turning around and facing him from across the room. He was all worked up, his heart was racing, and he looked like he was about to crawl out of his skin as he spoke. This hadn’t been her intention when she came, she had tried to slow down the conversation about the two of them, but it had obviously been the giant elephant in the room that had to be addressed at some point.

“Calm down please.” Ava sighed as she slowly walked herself across the room to take a seat on the side of his hospital bed placing her hand on his chest. “You aren’t my pet, you are a legitimate piece of my life.” It had been a stupid comment from him to begin with, treating a person like so would be unacceptable. If they remained friends and she couldn’t handle it then she would have ended it before it came to anything like that. “We don’t need to talk about any of this now though. You need to get better and get out of here and none of this is helping you. I promised you I wouldn’t leave and I have no plans to do so.” It wasn’t like there was anywhere else she had to be anymore anyways except for school and that was the furthest thing from her mind right now. If she was his reason for fighting, his reason for living, she knew that the time had come when she would have to take him back to the accident scene soon. He needed to know exactly what happened, his friends that he lost. He needed to live life for life and that was the only way she thought he might understand why it upset her so much that he gave up like he did. There was soo much he needed to know, so much they had to talk about and it plagued her knowing that she couldn’t just do it all right then and get it over with but he needed to be in a better place, and the hospital was not it.

TAG. Kyle
WORDS.six-twenty-three
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. Nothing.
NOTES. Nope =)
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal!

[lirie]

The moment Ava’s hand came down on Kyle’s chest he immediately stopped trying to get himself upright, instead he let his body relax and laid back in the hospital bed, taking deep breaths to calm himself.”Just as long as you know that I’ll rather be your pet, than having nothing to do with you.” he said in a whisper. Kyle couldn’t figure out why his throat was so sore, they didn’t operate on his trachea as far as he knew.
He then realized they must’ve put a pipe down his throat to help him breathe during the operation, it was the only thing that sensibly explained the dryness and soreness and overall irritableness of his wind-pipe. ”I pretty much meant it as a metaphor for what I’d do to be in your life, which is anything. I’ll quit being so touchy, taking everything personally, I’ll let you make your own decisions on your own time… Anything you want.” he added, sounding a bit better after calming down a bit., Kyle would bend over backwards for another shot at being in her life.

Kyle’s feeling of euphoria when she said she didn’t plan on leaving was unexplainable, he felt happier than a kid on Christmas, she wasn’t leaving, he had another chance, but he knew this time it really was his last chance and he would have to stop acting out too emotionally from now, he wasn’t a kid anymore, so he wasn’t going to handle things like one either. ”I just had to explain, we can talk about it again later, I know you probably have a million questions.” was all he said in reaction to her statement, he was going to handle things calmly from now on, he had to be rational if he wanted to have any chance of winning her back, yes, that was his plan, to show her that he was the right choice, to show her he would stick by her from now on, no matter what.

A few silent seconds passed before Kyle spoke again, he was pretty much at a loss for words, he had no idea how to go about having a normal conversation with her anymore, it was like every time the two of them spoke they were either arguing or talking about their messed up relationship, he wanted to change the subject, leave the past where it belonged, behind them. ”Can you please get me some of that?” he then asked as soon as he saw a jug of water and a couple of classes on a table not too far from his bed, he was extremely thirsty and hoped that it would help take away the scratching sensation he felt in his throat every time he spoke, just as Ava did as he asked the doctor entered the room, followed by quite a few other doctors who looked much younger than his. ”Hello Kyle, how are you feeling?” he asked as he came to stop next to the bed, ”I’m alright thanks doc. My throat just hurts a lot.” he answered as he stared at the other doctors who were hovering at the door, looking really interested. ”Yes, that is to be expected, it shouldn’t get too long to get better though. was the doctors response before he looked in the direction Kyle was looking, ”Kyle, those are surgical and medical interns, would it be okay if they observed?” he then asked once he realized what Kyle was staring at.

What exactly they would be observing was beyond Kyle, but he didn’t see how it could hurt so he nodded in agreement. The water he asked for was soon in his hand and he downed it quickly, feeling relieve as soon as the liquid entered his throat. ”Thanks.” he said to Ava with a smile as he put the glass down on the small bedside table to his right. The doctor then immediately jumped into questioning Kyle, asking if his head hurt, to which Kyle answered ”Only when I move too much, or cough.” to which the doctor nodded before writing something on the paper which was clipped onto the clipboard he held in his hand. Kyle had a question of his own to ask too, but he didn’t expect the answer to be satisfying ”When will I be able to get out of here doc?” he asked, his dislike of the place obvious by the tone of his voice, ”We would like to keep you here for a day or two, just to run a few tests and make sure we didn’t miss anything again… You could be out of here in two days, maybe three, but then you’ll have to stay on bed rest until your skull has fully healed, so you and you’re parents have to make sure you don’t get out of bed more than is necessary and since you’re so clumsy you’ll have to be extra careful Kyle.”

The doctor’s answer was better than Kyle expected, three days was much less than he anticipated and the bed rest was ok with his, just as long as he could be out of that hospital. He looked at Ava and smiled his excitement about getting to leave clear. The doctor then, to his surprise turned to Ava ”If you haven’t done what we talked about yet, I’d hold it off until he’s better, for obvious reasons.” he said and soon after left the room, his interns following not too long after. Kyle looked at Ava with a questioning look, but decided to leave it, he would find out what it was eventually.

[ava]

The tension in Kyle’s body released and relaxed underneath of her touch and so did Ava knowing he wasn’t jumping out of the bed anytime soon. He asked her to get him a glass of water and she followed his finger to see where he was pointing to beside them. Standing up from her place on the bed she took a small paper cup and began pouring the ice water just as the doctor and his residents came in. Waiting for an opening in conversation before she passed him the water she stepped back to the side again opting to watch instead of getting in their way. The conversation between them was pretty minimal, Kyle seemed to be doing well considering, and the answer that he got about when he would be leaving seemed to be exactly what he was hoping for. She returned his smile and leaned against the wall behind her waiting for them to finish.

The doctor turned to her as if he had been reading her mind and told her not to take him to the accident site yet. She hadn’t planned on it so part of her was kinda offended that he thought she would do it now, in the state he was in but part of her understood that it was just his concern. Her plan hadn’t been to take him while he was still recovering but it needed to happen eventually, sooner rather than later with the hope it would open up his eyes, give him a new way of looking at things as painful as it might be. Ava nodded in agreement to the doctor and then watched the small group file out of the door again before pushing herself off the wall and making her way back towards where Kyle was still laying.

“Three days, huh?” Ava took the empty cup from him replacing more water inside and pulling the bedside table closer to set it on so Kyle had some more when he wanted. “That’s great.” He hated the hospital, she felt like it probably had to do with his fear of being trapped there again and not being able to leave, but that wasn’t going to be the case this time as long as he took it easy til then. The bed rest would be well worth going home though, he would have his own things, a TV, computer, whatever he wanted to do. Hospitals were just long boring days with minimal cable channels and staring at walls in between endless doctors’ visits. “I know its getting kinda late,” she said setting her hands down on the bed rails in front of her, “were you hungry? I can run down to the cafeteria or get a nurse to get you something?”

TAG. Kyle
WORDS. four-sixty-six
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. Nothing.
NOTES. Nope =)
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal!

[lirie]

Kyle nodded slightly when she said it was great that he was going to be able to leave in three days, ”I prefer today, but three days isn’t bad…. I actually expected far worse.” he said soon after, smiling brightly, Ava being there was all he needed to be happy, as cliché as that might sound, it was true, he wasn’t going to be happy without her, not ever, even if she thought he eventually would’ve. The refilled class of water was just too tempting to resist, so he grabbed it soon after she put it down, but this down just took a sip instead of throwing it down his throat like a dehydrated mad man.

The room fell silent, but not for too long, Ava mentioned food and Kyle didn’t even have to answer, his stomach answered for him, grumbling so loudly that he was sure the nurse, wherever she was, could hear it. Kyle hadn’t eaten in over two days and before that he only ate a few bites of whatever his mom cooked every night, so he was indeed hungry, hungry was an understatement. ”I am yes; you know what would be awesome? Pizza!” just the mere thought of a delicious, meat covered, cheesy pizza made his mouth watery. ”I bet they’ll deliver here...” he said as he looked at Ava, hoping she wouldn’t preach about healthy eating, but he wasn’t sure if she was that type, he didn’t think so.

After a few seconds on eye contact he attempted opening the drawer next to his bed, he was sure his mom would’ve put his phone there, in case he wanted to get hold of her, not that he would need to because she was bound to be there most of the time anyway. With a frustrated grunt Kyle stopped trying; his head just felt too heavy to lift and throbbed when he moved it too much. ”I honestly hope I’m not going to feel this heavy-headed for long, I hate being so dependant on everyone else….” he said, but he was sure Ava already knew that about him, since she wasn’t the one with the memory loss.

[ava]

Ava should have just ordered a pizza and not even bothered asking but she knew sometimes meds and things took away a person’s appetite. She knew she should be concerned with the doctors’ orders, whether they had him on a liquid diet that type of thing but she was more concerned with lightening the mood and making sure he was comfortable then all that. She was pretty sure they had brought a tray around earlier while he was sleeping but then just took it back away. Watching him reach for the drawer and failing she pulled out her own phone instead calling in a pizza and breadsticks for herself before tossing the phone back in her bag and pulling out another item.

“Pizza will be on its way shortly. I got breadsticks for me, but I might share if you ask nicely.” She smiled pulling open the drawer he was reaching for to take his phone out and set it on top. That way if he needed it for something else it was within reach and didn’t take everything he had to get to it. “You better hope your parents are either gone for the night or don’t show up til the pizza is gone. Your mother would kill me.” Ava patted his legs to have him move them over to one side and crawled up onto the end of the bed sitting cross legged in front of him before pulling the over bed table between them.

Pulling the cards from the box in which they were contained Ava set them on top of the table and fanned them out. “Cards?” she asked with a smile. Why she had them in her purse in the first place she couldn’t remember but she did and it was a good thing she did too because waiting for their food could get rather boring with all the awkwardness and silence there usually was between them. “I was thinking a few hands of poker? Go fish?” She shuffled the cards in her hand quickly offering them for him to split a few times before dealing them out and setting the extra pile to the side.

TAG. Kyle
WORDS. three-sixty-five
OUTFIT. CLICK.
MUSIC. Nothing.
NOTES. Nope =)
CREDITS. jurate @ CAUTION, please don't steal!

[lirie]

Kyle watched as Ava took care of ordering the pizza and once she put the phone down he looked at her, his expression appreciative ”Breadsticks? Why didn’t I think of that?” he said, not really too seriously, more pretending to be disappointed, ”But you have no choice, I have a hole in my head, I should get special treatment without having to ask nicely.” he joked, sticking his tongue out at her.
For someone who just came out of surgery a few hours ago, Kyle felt pretty perky, for no other reason other than Ava’s presence.

He moved his legs aside to give Ava some space and watched with interest as she put the table between them, ”Trying to prevent me from jumping you? I’ll behave, promise.” he said with a smirk as he watched her open the pack of cards, which he of course couldn’t recall, ”Looks… Interesting.” he said whilst picking up a card, queen of hearts, and inspecting it. ”I don’t think they’ll approve of me going out to fish, but we can play poker, whatever that is…” he said with a chuckle as he put the card back with the others, he had no idea that go fish was actually a card game and wasn’t meant literally. ”Will you teach me?” he asked seconds later, not knowing that he had just made the wrong assumption, wondering if she would actually break him out of the hospital to go fishing, or if she was joking.

A few seconds later, Kyle’s eye caught someone standing at the door, which was left open by the doctors when they left earlier. It was his mom, peaking in curiously with a satisfied expression. He wondered how long she’s been standing there and blushed when he realized she could’ve heard him talking about ‘jumping’ Ava. ”Hey mom…” he said with a shy smile, if she did hear him, she wasn’t acting like it, ”Hey honey, I just brought you some pajamas, since we didn’t think about grabbing them before we followed you here…I’m sorry for interrupting your game.” she said, holding up Kyle’s old gym bag as she entered the room, ”Hello Ava dear, thank you for keeping him company hun, he looks much better than when we were here earlier.” she said to Ava, putting her hand on Ava’s shoulder for a few seconds. ”Your dad says hi by the way, he got called into work but says he’ll come by during lunch time tomorrow.” she then said, taking her hand off Ava and moving closer to Kyle and giving him a kiss on his cheek, ”Thanks mommy, love you.” Kyle said with a smile, most guys would be very embarrassed if their mom kissed them in front of the girl they like and probably wouldn’t call her mommy and tell her they love her either, but Kyle wasn’t bothered with that, he wasn’t ashamed of the relationship he had with his mom.



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