too LATE to APOLOGIZE

[zv]

Braeydon Allen

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^{NOW I THINK I UNDERSTAND}
how this world can overcome a man[/center]

The junior sat himself at the crumbling edge of the bluff, his eyes wandering around the land it overlooked. His legs dangled from the edge, as he just sat like a child, his eyes shining with a sadness that was beginning to overwhelm him. Things had just hit the fan lately, and he'd gotten hit with reality like a bitch slap of ice cold water to a drunken person. It was a shocking wake up call. The trembling breath left his lips, and he let out a soft sob. He was here to think...to find a place away from the hustle and bustle of the main parts of the city, to sit and think to himself. His lips pursed a little and his head dropped as the tears started to fall again, his body trembling. He had no home. No family. The only things he had left were Charlie and Dylan, but lately, all he felt like lately was a burden to the two of them. When the school year was up, where was he going to go? Nowhere. There was no home to turn to, no family to cradle him. Then again, they'd never been there in the first place. They'd pushed, pushed, pushed..and finally sent him to Jersey to see if he would become...different.

He'd turned different all right. He'd fallen in love and learned what having someone care about you meant. Sure, it had it's bumps along the way, but now it was secure, comforting. And as comforting as it was...there was nowhere for him to go now. He couldn't even run back to that, knowing that Dylan was more than likely going to go back to California when the year was over. The sudden sob wrenched out of his lips, and his hand reached up, slapping over his mouth to stifle the noise before he closed his eyes and shook his head. No! He wouldn't be a burden to anyone anymore. Not like he was to his parents. He couldn't be a burden anymore. And the only person that knew about him being disowned legally was Charlie. He hadn't even really seen Dylan, but then again, Dylan was probably busy. Nimble fingers reached and slid into his pocket, pulling away with a picture as he looked down at it. It was just a picture of him and Dylan, but the smiling..the cuteness.

Braey smiled a little to himself, the expression sad, even if it was meant to be happy. His lips were pressing to Dylan's cheek, while the larger male had taken the picture, that dimple filled smile sitting on his face. 'And after school ends...I won't see anyone...' The pain ripped through him, like someone had taken a sledgehammer to his gut and taken a vice grip to his chest. It was raw..painful. He didn't know where he was going to go...he just knew he would lose everything when school ended in the next few months. As hurtful as it was to be disowned...as numbing as it could be...it hurt more to know that he wasn't going to see the people that truly cared for him. Braey's head hung down, his eyes focusing on the picture as tears splashed on the glossy image, and he gasped, wiping it off as quickly as he could. As it dried from his shirt, he turned his gaze down towards his feet, dangling off the crumbling edge of the bluff. He didn't want to lose anything...anyone. But it seemed life just had its own plans for him.

Jade eyes closed and he let himself lean a little, his elbows resting on his knees as his eyes focused to the picture. Not to fall off the edge, but to get more comfortable. 'I'm so sorry Dylan...' The words sounded pathetic in his mind, and the tears started to spill again. When the school year ended..he would lose it all. He knew it. And when that time came around, he wouldn't want to live anymore. So that was it. When it was all gone, and the world went dark...he would just end it.

muse; merf.
lyrics; fiction - avenged sevenfold
listening to; pandora radio
tagged; open
notes; he was dying to get out and..he..yeah. his parents broke him
credits; template to moi. so no stealing!

[dylan]

He found himself worriedly chewing on the ring of silver set into his lip, frowning to himself. His boyfriend had been different lately - not quite like the hyper, bouncy boy he knew, and it was beginning to worry him. Something was wrong, and he wanted to know what it was - but whenever he wanted to ask, he could never find the right words. His hands were in his pockets as he shuffled along the path - he'd found the bluff to be a good place to think, and maybe while he was there he could find the words he wanted to say to ask braey what was wrong, because all that he wanted to do was make everything better. He knew he wasn't that good at things like that - his attempts were usually clumsy, but he still tried to make things better for his friends, even though he usually just made them worse.

He frowned at the familiar figure sitting on the edge of the bluff, his heart speeding up for a moment before he realized his boyfriend didn't seem to be in any danger of falling. "What's wrong, gosse?" He asked softly as he slipped up beside his boyfriend, carefully sitting down next to him after making sure the surface was sturdy enough to support his weight as well. His hazel eyes studied his boyfriend quietly, tracing over the tears on his face as his lips curled down, reaching out in order to gently swipe the pad of his thumb along them, wiping away the salty residue quietly. His eyes fell to the photograph and he smiled a little crookedly, though his expression was still worried and the smile slid away after a few seconds, his worried gaze studying Braey once more. "You've seemed so sad lately..." He trailed off, playing with the ring in his lip once more as he watched the other junior. "May I ask why?" He finished the thought after searching for the right words - he hated when he upset somebody close to him because he couldn't find the right words.

TAGGED - braeydon allen OUTFIT - hurrrr, isn't he sexy? NOTES – dyl be worried xD. CREDITS - i made this, steal and die kthnxbai =D text banner from justlikefalling @ caution two point oh.

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[zv]

Braeydon Allen

[/font]
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^{NOW I THINK I UNDERSTAND}
how this world can overcome a man[/center]

Slowly, Braey kicked his feet, feeling the heels of his shoes bounce off of the face of the bluff several times, knocking away loose clods of dirt and debris that plummeted below. He was so scared of losing what little he had left, and he didn't know what would happen if he did. Though, somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear the little voice telling him he would end it all if he lost it all. Losing everything would be the end of him. The silent pact he was making with himself confirmed it. He just wouldn't be able to handle the stress, and once he lost everything..well..he wouldn't really be missed.

"What's wrong, gosse?" The familiar voice made Braey gasp and he looked up and over in time to see his large boyfriend slipping beside him, sitting himself on the edge of the bluff. It suddenly felt like the world was a lot warmer whenever he was around Dylan. Things just seemed to be better. Charlie had the same effect on him, but Dylan's seemed more powerful. It was out of habit that Braey leaned towards Dylan's touch to his face, finding himself needing it now more than ever, to cherish every second like it was the last one they would spend together. And he could see those hazel eyes gazing at the photograph of the two of them, the familiar smile coming into play on his lips, before it was gone. "You've seemed so sad lately...May I ask why?"

For a moment, Braey was silent, but that didn't last long. He exhaled shakily, turning his jade eyes towards Dylan before taking in a heavy breath, trying to think of how he was going to word it. "..where are you going...after school ends this year?" he asked softly. He wouldn't throw the problem out there right away. Simply because...Braey didn't like it when people went out of their way for him, especially Dylan. He didn't like being a burden on those he really cared about, and when they went out of their way, well, it usually made him feel like a burden.

muse; merf.
lyrics; fiction - avenged sevenfold
listening to; pandora radio
tagged; dyl
notes; sad braey is saaad x.x
credits; template to moi. so no stealing!

[dylan]

He quietly watched the smaller boy as he sat next to him on the bluff, gently stroking the face he loved so much even after the tear tracks were gone with the pad of his thumb as Braey leaned closer. He could see why Charlies nickname for him was dollface - he had that porcelain look around him, so beautiful that often he felt like a clumsy duckling next to a swan. He was awkward in his size, unused to his own strength, and his boyfriend always seemed so...he didn't know the right word. None of the words he knew seemed to fit Braey, because he was... He was just Braey, son amour, his love. Someone he hoped would never change because he was amazing just the way he was.

"Where are you going...after school ends this year?" He took a moment to compose his thoughts, thinking it over quietly. He didn't really want to go back to California, back to his 'family' if you could even call them that. His parents wouldn't care where he was - they had sent him here to get him away. His mother had always hated him, and hell, his father barely noticed him unless he was encouraging the twins harassment. Damon had always been the well-liked son - as the baby, somehow he had avoided becoming like his older brothers, and their parents absolutely loved him. He felt no jealousy though - Damon was a sweet kid, and he was glad he wasn't like them. "I...I don't know where I'm going." He answered truthfully after a few more seconds of thought. "I don't want to go back to ma famille...if they could be called that, and I'll be eighteen soon...so they can't force me back." He shrugged, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his legs, looking over at the other boy. "I'd much rather be with you, anyways. Why do you ask?"

TAGGED - braeydon allen OUTFIT - hurrrr, isn't he sexy? NOTES - ma famille = my family xD CREDITS - i made this, steal and die kthnxbai =D text banner from justlikefalling @ caution two point oh.

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[zv]

Braeydon Allen

[/font]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
^{NOW I THINK I UNDERSTAND}
how this world can overcome a man[/center]

He could feel the gentle swiping of finger pads across his cheeks, and it caused a warmth to settle in his chest. He didn't want it to stop, and didn't want the moment to end. Carefully, he maneuvered himself on the bluff's edge, scooting closer towards his boyfriend, his lover, before pausing and letting out a soft sigh. The silence that was beginning to grow between them was sort of comfortable, but it was nowhere near awkward, and Braey found his eyes wandering back down to the ground that was so far under his feet at the bottom of the rocky bluff. Would he be way down there at the end of the year? He really hoped not. He didn't want to be left alone, left with that broken hope and broken heart. "I...I don't know where I'm going."

Almost adorably, his plump, rosy lips pursed into a small pout, as his brows knit in confusion and he turned his head back towards his boyfriend, blinking a few times. "I don't want to go back to ma famille...if they could be called that, and I'll be eighteen soon...so they can't force me back." Well, at least he had a family to go back to, if it counted. To Braey, it did. Jade green eyes swept over the larger boy as Dylan moved, causing Braey to tense a little, fearful of his boyfriend leaning too far and suddenly plummeting off the edge. However, it soon became clear he was safe. "I'd much rather be with you, anyways. Why do you ask?"

The pink blush tinted the tops of his cheeks and he looked away, smiling just briefly before it was gone. "I was just..curious," he whispered. What a lie. Braey frowned to himself, slowly working up the courage to talk before he looked back towards his boyfriend, his fingers absently playing with the hem of his shirt. "Actually...it's because I have no home to go to. I was just wondering if..if I was going to lose you too.." he whispered out, his voice suddenly hoarse, scared. The junior's eyes burned, but no tears fell, and he inhaled shakily before reaching up and rubbing his face with one hand. "I don't have a family anymore. They...they sent me a letter about a week ago. All I did was tell them about how happy I was..about how I was happy with school. With friends. With you." And he'd gotten the bitch slap to the face about how his parents really thought. "They think I'm some kind of incurably sick freak." This time, he did sob, the fresh tears starting to run down his cheeks. "I lost them..I don't wanna lose you too!"

muse; merf.
lyrics; fiction - avenged sevenfold
listening to; pandora radio
tagged; dyl
notes;
credits; template to moi. so no stealing!

[dylan]

His eyes carefully watched his lover scoot closer before gently wrapping an arm around his waist, carefully pulling him closer and hopefully offering him a bit of comfort. There was a silence between them then, not exactly awkward but not quite comfortable, and he took the time to study his boyfriend with a small smile. He didn't know how Braey didn't see how beautiful he was sometimes - to him, he was the very definition of the word. It wasn't just how he looked - it was how he acted, too. He was hyper and bouncy and friendly and just...everything he wasn't. He was like the night, dark, and his boyfriend was like the rainbow, bright and colorful and making everything better when he was around.

His head tilted to the side from where he was leaning quietly, watching his lover with a worried look. "I was just..curious." Curious? His head tilted further, his brow furrowing slightly in confusion at how nervous his boyfriend seemed to be. "Actually...it's because I have no home to go to. I was just wondering if..if I was going to lose you too..." He frowned - didn't Braey have family back in California? "You aren't going to lose me, gosse..." He murmured softly, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend once more, doing his best to comfort him. What did he mean by no home? The question kept itching at him, and he opened his mouth to ask but his boyfriend beat him to it. "I don't have a family anymore. They...they sent me a letter about a week ago. All I did was tell them about how happy I was..about how I was happy with school. With friends. With you."

He blinked, his arms tightening protectively around his boyfriend as his face darkened into a scowl. Had they kicked him out for being happy? What kind of parent might do that to their son? Wait…happy with him. With him. Had he been the reason they had done such a thing? "They think I'm some kind of incurably sick freak." His stomach twisted, his gaze darkening even further at those words. How could they say such a thing about the beautiful boy? ”They’re wrong.” He murmured softly, though his words were laced with steel. ”You are beautiful, and bouncy, and loving, and kind… the best person I know. They must be very blind to think such a horrible thing about you, much less to believe it.” His arms tightened around his boyfriend, feeling guilt settling slightly like a lead weight in his chest. It was his fault they thought that of their son… if he hadn’t fallen in love with Braey they never would have thought such a thing. He was selfish, so selfish – but he couldn’t bring himself to regret loving the smaller boy.

"I lost them..I don't wanna lose you too!" Gently he wiped away Braey’s tears, scooting away from the edge slightly so that he could pull his lover closer to him, cradle him against his chest lovingly. ”Non, mon amour,” He murmured, gently stroking the purple stands of hair. ”You did not lose them. They are the ones who lost you, and they are fools for doing so. I’m not such a fool… I have no wish to be anywhere but at your side, always. We will figure something out, somehow.” Even if it killed him, he’d figure out a way to help his lover, because his parents were fools to ever wound him in such a way. How could they not see what a wonderful person he was? ”I promise, mon amour.”

TAGGED - braeydon allen OUTFIT - hurrrr, isn't he sexy? NOTES - marshmalloooooow. CREDITS - i made this, steal and die kthnxbai =D text banner from justlikefalling @ caution two point oh.

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[zv]

Braeydon Allen

[/font]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
^{NOW I THINK I UNDERSTAND}
how this world can overcome a man[/center]

"You aren't going to lose me, gosse..." He wished it was that easy. To believe those words and believe that everything was going to be fine. But the world had a fucked up way of working, and he knew that for fact, because it'd just gotten shoved in his face a week ago. His head dropped down, ashamed as could be, and he bit on his lip roughly, sucking on the lip rings nearly. If only everything could be fixed at the snap of someone's fingers...it'd be so much easier. But that was just it. Life was never that simple and complications were supposed to make or break someone. It was on the verge of breaking poor Braeydon. On top of all the bullying that had happened to him in school, he now had nowhere to go at all. The thought ground itself into his brain, and Braey ducked his head, chewing on his lip a little roughly. Maybe he was just meant to pay for something he did wrong.

”They’re wrong.” The sheer tone made Braey nearly flinch, and he looked up at Dylan's face, his jade eyes scanning over the unreadable expression, trying see what he was feeling. ”You are beautiful, and bouncy, and loving, and kind… the best person I know. They must be very blind to think such a horrible thing about you, much less to believe it.” The junior ducked his head for a moment, feeling the larger boy's arms tightening around him, holding him, and the shivers ran down his spine. "They've always thought it. They just never said anything to me. This was their opening to say it," he whispered in a defeated way, his eyes closing briefly. They reopened after a moment, and a smile was forced on his lips, though it flickered and disappeared after a brief second. "I was never...really..I don't know. I never really made them proud..or had them tuck me in at night and say 'I love you'," he admitted softly. "That's why they sent me here. To keep me away from them and just..to make themselves happy." It was harsh, but it was a truth.

It took a moment, but Braey felt the fingers running under his eyes, wiping away his tears, and he was pulled even closer to the larger male. Immediately, a sense of peace settled over him, like a thick, impenetrable blanket. He was cradled, and it just felt so...right. ”Non, mon amour,” Braeydon looked up towards Dyl, his eyes the only thing moving as he felt the stroking of his purple hair. ”You did not lose them. They are the ones who lost you, and they are fools for doing so. I’m not such a fool… I have no wish to be anywhere but at your side, always. We will figure something out, somehow.” The words sank in slowly, and the smile gently flickered to life on his lips. Even in turmoil, Dylan would be there. Right? Right. Maybe it would be best to not tell Dylan his thoughts on earlier, about when he was debating on dropping to the foot of the bluff from the top. ”I promise, mon amour.”

Gently, Braey shifted against Dylan, leaning up to press the tender kiss to his lips. It was a soft, affectionate gesture. "You'll always be at my side..right? Even if..the world is against us?" He chewed his lip gently, but the words were soft spoken, and his arms wrapped around Dylan after he spoke, holding himself closer to the other male. "I love you," he whispered. Braey's words were muffled against the fabric of a hoodie, his face burying against it. The warmth surrounded him, and his lips spread into a gentle smile. Maybe things weren't that bad, if Dylan was going to be there to help him. Charlie would help too, wouldn't she? He just didn't want to be a burden to either one of them.

muse; merf.
lyrics; fiction - avenged sevenfold
listening to; pandora radio
tagged; dyl
notes;
credits; template to moi. so no stealing!

[dylan]

He frowned as Braeys head dropped, worriedly reaching out to cup his boyfriends chin and gently force him to look up at him, biting his lip. How could anyone think or say such things about the other boy? How could they be so blind to how amazing the other boy was? He didn't understand it. Braey always tried so hard to not bother people, even though he was never a bother - he always tried to make people happy, how could his parents be oblivious to everything that made him amazing? They had to be mentally deficient to not notice what a wonderful son they had. "They've always thought it. They just never said anything to me. This was their opening to say it," He scowled, his arms tightening around his boyfriend protectively, unconsciously cradling his smaller frame against him. "They must be stupid, then." He murmured, scowling more at the thought of them saying such things to Braey.

"I was never...really...I don't know. I never really made them proud...or had them tuck me in at night and say 'I love you'," He frowned further, his heart feeling like it was breaking a little with every word. How could anyone not have loved Braey? "That's why they sent me here. To keep me away from them and just..to make themselves happy." His fingers continued gently stroking the purple hair, playing with the silky strands as his eyes narrowed with anger at braey’s parents. They sounded so selfish…how could they do something like that to someone as wonderful as his lover? ”Selfish and stupid and blind, gosse. You…you’re one of the most amazing people I know. There must be something wrong with them…to not want to be near you, to even think you’d make them unhappy.” He murmured, gently pressing into the kiss that was pressed to his lips, returning the gesture lovingly.

"You'll always be at my side..right? Even if..the world is against us?" He nodded quietly, feeling the arms wrap around him and tightening his own arms a little more, resting his head on Braey’s with a small smile because even while he was worried about his lover, having him in his arms made him feel warm and like nothing could ever touch them. ”Always, gosse.” He murmured, tilting his head a little to press an affectionate kiss to the smaller boys temple. ”I love you,” The whispered words still sent butterflies through his stomach, the smile on his lips widening a little more. ”I love you too,” He murmured, sighing softly as he looked down at the purple head of his lover with a loving look. This was his favorite place to be – not the bluff, but any place became his favorite place when Braeydon was nearby, especially when he had the smaller boy wrapped in his arms.

TAGGED - braeydon allen OUTFIT - hurrrr, isn't he sexy? NOTES - d'aw. CREDITS - i made this, steal and die kthnxbai =D text banner from justlikefalling @ caution two point oh.

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[zv]

Braeydon Allen

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^{'CAUSE I NEED YOU RIGHT HERE BY MY SIDE}
'cause you're everything i'm not in my life[/center]

Braey felt the fingers cup his chin, his head glancing upwards towards Dylan for a moment, watching as he bit his lip. His boyfriend was so worried, and it bothered Braey that he was making him like that. He was just making things worse, and he didn't want to drag his boyfriend down with him. Just the thought made his eyes water and he felt the tears force themselves out of his ducts, dropping down his cheeks as he sniffled. What was he doing? He was making things worse, dragging Dylan down too, and maybe even Charlie. Braey didn't want to do that, and he felt his chest tighten a little as he restrained the sobs, biting on his lower lip.

He felt those large arms tighten around him, and the secure feeling hovered in his chest, before his face buried against his boyfriend's chest again. The closer he was pulled, the more secure he felt with this whole ordeal. The poor kid just needed support, and a lot of it at that. "They must be stupid, then." Gently, the purple haired junior looked up for a moment, his jade eyes glistening before he ducked his head once more. Were they? Or had he been blind to something he did. What had he done? Braey wracked his mind, trying to figure out what it was that could have caused them to do this, but nothing came up. He hadn't done anything wrong, or bad...and yet, this was what happened. The more he thought, though, the worse he felt, and the only thing that kept him from full out sobbing again was the fact Dylan was holding him. That, and his hair being stroked. It was something he liked, just the small touches, and he sighed to himself, relaxing a little more.

”Selfish and stupid and blind, gosse. You…you’re one of the most amazing people I know. There must be something wrong with them…to not want to be near you, to even think you’d make them unhappy.” A soft pink blush spread over Braey's cheeks and his eyes shifted for a moment before he shook his head, only ceasing when the kiss he delivered was returned, and his body curled closer to his boyfriend. Gently, Braey placed his hand on the chest of the larger boy, feeling the beat of his heart for a moment. He soon felt Dyl's head resting on his own, and he smiled just a little bit, exhaling shakily. Nothing could be too bad with Dylan around...the other boy just seemed to chase everything off. ”Always, gosse.” He would always be there. The promise seemed to glow warmly in his chest, and he smiled just a little more.

He felt a gentle press against his temple like a kiss, and he closed his eyes for a moment, his eyes glistening with tears, but it wasn't in sadness. So much emotion welled up in his chest, and he felt so confused, but Dylan was his lifeline in the mess of life. His savior. Right now...Dylan was the only thing that kept him from throwing himself off the bluff to hit the bottom and end it all. Of course, his boyfriend didn't know that..but he wasn't going to enlighten him. ”I love you too,” Those words seemed to make his chest tighten more and he blinked, a few more tears slipping from his eyes and his lip trembled for a moment. "You have no idea..how much you mean to me right now," he whispered softly, his voice choking for a moment. "You...you're what keeps me willing to wake up. But this past week..oh god...Dylan.." he whispered, starting to sob. "If you weren't here right now..I'd be at the bottom of the bluff right now. I would have just thrown myself off," he whispered shakily. Those words, coming from Braey's lips, revealed how much the whole situation had shaken him up.

muse; merf.
lyrics; no matter what - papa roach
listening to; pandora radio
tagged; dyl
notes;
credits; template to moi. so no stealing!