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Post by lirie on Mar 29, 2011 16:57:13 GMT -5
I don't ever wanna believe…
That when we die, that we all leave. Ava was right on IM earlier that morning; the weather wasn’t that bad, but since the weather was so unpredictable these days Kyle grabbed a jacket before leaving the house, just in case. As he stood on the curb, waiting for his taxi, he pondered on whether or not the flowers he had picked for from his mom’s garden was too much, but shrugged it off once he saw the taxi approaching. It then occurred to him how slowly taxi’s could drive sometimes, only in a hurry when they feel like it he shook his head and got into the back once it came to a stop in front of him.
With Ava’s flowers on his lap, kyle watched buildings, houses and trees past, not really thinking about the friends he lost in the accident, what would they be doing if they had a second chance at life? Before his thoughts could depress him the taxi came to a stop in front of the dorm and the thought of seeing Ava cheered Kyle up, After paying and of course tipping the driver Kyle made his way to her dorm room, number thirty seven, not at all surprised at how quiet things seemed since it was a Sunday and most of the teens would be sleeping off their hang over or be out somewhere, enjoying the last day of the weekend.
Kyle took a deep breath before knocking on the door three times, he was still not too sure about the flowers, but he figured that if it was too much Ava wouldn’t say anything about it anyway, to him it was a way of showing her he was still interested in being more than just friends. As he waited for Ava to open, he took his free hand and adjusted his beanie making sure it was hiding both his scars.
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Post by ava on Mar 29, 2011 18:35:51 GMT -5
  Shutting the neon green Vaio laptop Ava looked around her dorm room at what she considered a mess. Ten minutes didn’t seem like near long enough to make the area look presentable but what could you really do in a space like that to begin with. Taking her arm she whipped it across the desk pushing all the trash off the edge and into the garbage, taking her books and putting them back into her book bag before throwing the blanket up on her bed to look like she had at least attempted making it. Looking around the room again her shoulders slumped in defeat, there wasn’t much left for her to do but she still felt like a tornado had wrecked the place. These were the days she was thankful she didn’t have a roommate yet, just an extra empty bed on the other side of the room.
Sliding her ipod into the dock sitting on a shelf above her desk she waited for it to click in and turned the volume up loud enough to hear but not be so obnoxious. Quickly grabbing her black sweatshirt from the bed she threw it onto the top of the over flowing laundry basket and shoved it inside of her closet just in time to hear Kyle knocking lightly on the door. Sliding the closet shut Ava made her way to the door placing her hand on the golden knob and turning it slowly as she took a deep breathe in. Swinging it open revealed him of course standing there a small bouquet of flowers in hand and another damn beanie. “ Hey.” She stepped to the side giving him room to come in before shutting the door behind him.
A smile pursed Ava’s lips as she stepped in closer to him her fingers running over the flowers and taking them from him. They were colorful, beautiful, and smelled amazing as she took paper cup to produce a make shift vase for the flowers setting them in the window sill. “Thank you. They are great.”
[/size] as far as 347. the eye can see im wearing. under your command Kyle. i will be finished. your guardian REAL SLIM SHADY !? @ caution 2.0 [/color]. never say never nottteessss.[/blockquote][/size][/center] |
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Post by lirie on Mar 29, 2011 18:56:37 GMT -5
I don't ever wanna believe…
That when we die, that we all leave.
The moment Ava opened the door his once content expression turned into one of delight and he smiled the way he only seemed to smile when he was in her presence, despite everything they had gone through in the last month or so his feeling for her still remained the same. ”Hey yourself….” he said as he took a few steps into the apartment, looking around it was clear that she didn’t get to cleaning everything, but he wasn’t about to say something about it, it wasn’t dirty, just slightly disorganized, it wasn’t half as bad as his room looked at that very moment.
When she took the flowers Kyle felt relief, she genuinely seemed to like them, it didn’t seem like she was acting to spare his feelings at all. ”I’m glad you like them.” he said, still smiling but only slightly as he lifted his finger to his chin and looked at the small cut one of the thorns from the flower gave him and quickly dropping his hand back to his side and looking back toward her.
He remained silent for a few seconds as he walked deeper into the dorm but not sitting, he would wait for her to make the first move of that ”I didn’t bring any cupcakes, mom said I should invite you over for dinner then you can have some, she misses you.” he said in attempt at starting some sort of conversation, scratching his head through his beanie, how much it irritated him made clear by the face he pulled. ”I have some news too, I think I’ve decided about school.” he added shortly after shifting his weight from his one leg to his other.
Without thinking about it Kyle sat down on the edge of Ava’s bed, standing around in her small dorm room just felt too awkward, but sitting on the edge of her bed like he did that night he gave her the ultimatum felt even more awkward. He considered standing back up, but decided against it, the past was the past and he was no longer going to let it intervene with his present.
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Post by ava on Mar 29, 2011 19:51:02 GMT -5
It was a trap. Not on purpose but it surely felt like it to Ava. His mother missed her and she loved Kyle’s parents dearly but the more time she spent over there the more awkward things would become as if it wasn’t that way already. It was like bringing a child into a relationship you weren’t sure was going to work out too soon. Not that they were in a relationship, not that if they were it wouldn’t work out, it was just too much too soon although she would probably agree at some point. “I miss her too. We will see though.”
Taking her cell phone from the desk Ava plugged it in checking her messages before turning down the volume and setting it back down. Hearing Kyle say he had news about school she turned around looking to him now sitting on the bed wondering what it could be. She had asked him before about school and he wasn’t sure yet. She had wondered if this late in the school year he would have a hard time catching up, maybe he decided to wait. If he didn’t though and he pushed through he would graduate with them, and it would be a huge thing after being gone for so long. Either way it was his decision, no one else could make it for him and she would support him the best she could. “ What decision is that?” She took his jacket from his arms and threw it over the back of her desk chair so he didn’t look so uncomfortable holding it then waited patiently for his verdict on school.
[/size] as far as dunno. the eye can see im wearing. under your command Kyle. i will be finished. your guardian REAL SLIM SHADY !? @ caution 2.0 [/color]. never say never nottteessss.[/blockquote][/size][/center] |
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Post by lirie on Mar 29, 2011 20:19:53 GMT -5
I don't ever wanna believe…
That when we die, that we all leave.
Ava’s hesitance to be spending a lot of time at Kyle’s house was understandable, his mother were still treating them like a couple and it did make things awkward for them, but the fact that bonds were created that would be hard to break in case things went south was something Kyle didn’t really comprehend ”If you can’t come she’ll probably send you something, she’s very maternal these days… Worries that you’re not getting enough to eat. Nuts that woman.” he said with a chuckle, a person could hear how much he adored his mother, even if he just called her nuts.
Sitting with his jacket in his lap did feel a little awkward, but he didn’t want to make himself at home so quickly, he wanted to respect her space, not as a way of getting in her good graces, but because it felt like the right thing to do, he was relieved when she took it though, it gave him back the use of both his hands which he used to push up his sleeves ”I think I should go shopping soon, most of my shirts are too tight.” he said absentmindedly, more talking to himself that to her, as he struggled getting his shirt over his muscular arms.
Kyle had thought carefully about going back to school and weighed all his options and finally made his decision ”I’m going to give finishing this year a shot.” he said as he looked at Ava, a smile curving his lips, he was pretty excited getting to get a feel for how high school was like when he was there, of course it wouldn’t be exactly the same, since everyone he knew graduated when they were supposed to, at least as far as he knew, but the basic idea would still be the same. ”I figured if I don’t make it this year I’d at least know I tried and then I’ll do it next year.” he added, he had nothing better to do with his time anyway, sitting around at home and wondering through the town alone was only fun for a while and going back would also mean he’d get to see a lot more of Ava during the week which was definitely a huge plus. ”If I make it, which I think I will with a little bit of hard work, I’ll go to college next year, my dad talked to them and they’re interested in giving me a basketball scholarship, that’s if I can still play as well as I apparently used to.”
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Post by ava on Mar 29, 2011 20:54:38 GMT -5
Ava pivoted on one foot turning back around to watch him try and push his sleeves up over his arms and couldn’t help but laugh under her breath. Shopping. It was probably something he hadn’t done since being out of the coma, at least not big shopping, and all the clothes from before were sure to fit much differently after a year. “Maybe we can go this week and get you some new clothes for school.” He would have to make do with what he had for the moment but by the next weekend for sure she would take him into town to pick out a few new things at least. New clothes for going back to school was a yearly tradition started when you were in elementary school, just because he didn’t start in the fall didn’t mean he should be deprived of the ritual.
As concerned as she had been before the fact he was going back did make Ava excited for him. Going back to school was a big ordeal and as long as he realized how hard it might be she knew he would be okay. The attempt was the important part, and being out of the house for a little each day would do him some good. “Wow!” A scholarship offer even after everything he had been through, that was something he could work for, look forward too.
“That’s amazing.” Ava told him taking a few steps forward towards him and reaching for his cap. “You haven’t taken this off in days. Even inside.” Pulling it off she tossed it behind her to the desk where is jacket was and rotated her body back towards him seeing immediately the scars on the right side of his shaved head. The one from the accident was there but not as visible anymore, the one from the surgery though still swollen and puffed up from barely two weeks before, constant reminders that would never go away. Her hand moved up to his head, her fingers running over the length of the scar slowly as she examined it carefully. “Is this why?” Her voice now serious she looked at him quizzically wondering if he was ashamed of what had happened, or who he was now.
[/size] as far as 380. the eye can see im wearing. under your command Kyle. i will be finished. your guardian REAL SLIM SHADY !? @ caution 2.0 [/color]. never say never nottteessss.[/blockquote][/size][/center] |
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Post by lirie on Mar 29, 2011 21:16:25 GMT -5
I don't ever wanna believe…
That when we die, that we all leave.
Shopping, the thought was a bit daunting for Kyle, he had no idea what he would buy since the majority of his outfits were bought before the accident, when he still had an idea of what his taste was, now he didn’t really know, all he knew is that he would buy anything that stuck to him like Velcro, it was extremely irritating. ”That’ll be cool, as long as you know you’ll be doing the majority of the word, since I wouldn’t even know where to start.” he said with a smile as he gave up on getting his sleeves further up and left them pulled up to just below his elbows. He didn’t even know who bought or picked out the clothes he was wearing, whether he picked them out himself or if someone else did was beyond him, but he liked them, except for the tight fit. ”Did I even like shopping before?” he asked with his eyebrows raised in question, he didn’t really see himself liking it too much.
Ava’s excitement for him made Kyle even more excited about heading back to school, it was going to be a big adjustment for him without much time to prepare, since he started again the next day, but even though everything was happening so fast he was still very optimistic that things would turn out well. ”I’ll need to hit the gym soon though, I’m not really as fit as I should be.” he said, sighing at the prospect, his days were going to be booked, but hopefully it would be worth it. If he couldn’t play basketball anymore, which according to his dad was like riding a bike, you never forget it, which sounded really stupid to Kyle, he would find something else, and study without a scholarship, his parent could afford it.
When Ava pulled the beanie of Kyle’s head he felt the urge to grab it and pull it back on, but it was too late for that anyway, she had already seen what he’s been hiding under it ”Yeah, I…” he started breaking eye contact with her a few seconds, trying to come up with the right words ”It’s creepy, I’m like Frankenstein’s monster or something…” he said as he looked back at Ava, blushing a bit, it was not that he was ashamed of himself, not entirely, it was mostly because he didn’t like the whole look of it. He lifted his hand to his head and felt the short prickly hair before putting his hand back to his side, ”It’ll grow back though…” he added, half afraid that Ava would not like him if he looked like that, as silly as that might sound. The fact that Ava was sitting in Kyle’s lap made Kyle feel a little, awkward, he wasn’t sure about where to put his hands and if he put it where he wanted to he would probably get slapped so he kept one at his side and the other one he gentle placed on the small of Ava’s back.
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Post by ava on Mar 29, 2011 22:08:10 GMT -5
The reaction Kyle gave Ava made her think maybe she shouldn’t have taken it off but it was far too late for that now. His eyes diverted away while he used the word monster to describe how he felt he looked, and her heart broke. It was in moments like these she wished she could understand how he felt, be inside of his head to know what to say to make him feel better, or at least different. These would someday only be battle scars, reminders of what he had to go through, and the things he overcame to get where he wanted to be. They would be a great ode to his success and perseverance. He though sounded more concerned with is hair growth reassuring her it would grow back, the least of her concerns. She didn’t mind the shaved head even if he did.
The pressure of Kyle’s hand against her lower back had Ava screaming at herself inside of her head. Stress, confusion, none of it mattered; there was no denying how she had missed him, how bad she still did. “You are not a monster.” She shook her head at him in disagreement and amusement as she slowly inched closer to his face and her nose touched his. “You are uh-ma-zing.” Her lips touched his and immediately she was lost in them again her eyes closing and her fingers over the scar turning into her hand sliding down the side of his face, her other raising up to meet it on the other side and pulling him in as she adjusted herself on his lap. His warmth was teasing her and she dropped her arms around his neck as she slowly released the lock between them and pressed her forehead to his again opening her eyes to look down between them. “I’m sorry.” There was the apology, she didn’t want him to feel used, to feel led on like before, the entire reason he had walked out the last time he was there at the dorm with her.”It isn’t how you think.” It wasn’t at all, and although she knew her heart was his part of her still just wasn’t ready to say it, afraid of something, an accident happening again, making the wrong decision, all subconsciously perhaps, but there was fear there of something.
[/size] as far as 390. the eye can see im wearing. under your command Kyle. i will be finished. your guardian REAL SLIM SHADY !? @ caution 2.0 [/color]. never say never nottteessss.[/blockquote][/size][/center] |
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Post by lirie on Mar 30, 2011 15:20:01 GMT -5
I don't ever wanna believe…
That when we die, that we all leave. When Ava’s face inched closer to Kyle’s he felt the muscles in his body tense up like they were anticipating what he himself didn’t realize was coming yet, when her nose touched his he felt that thirst for her that he always felt when she was in such close proximity to him and Goosebumps covered his arms and neck ”Tha-“ he started saying right after Ava complimented him, but he cut off once her lips touched his. All the kisses they ever shared, which were all strangely initiated by Ava, didn’t come close to comparing to this one, the passion and meaning behind it was clear with every move Ava made, her emotions, those she wouldn’t share with Kyle seemed to be silently communicated to him. He showed no sign of resistance when she pulled him closer and once she was adjusted he wrapped his arm around her, returning kiss with every bit as much enthusiasm she was showing, if not more. As soon as she pulled away an audible moan escaped Kyle’s throat, he didn’t want it to end, but it did. He looked into Ava’s eyes and frowned when she apologized, ”I think… You love me, you won’t say it but I know it.” he said, his voice low but his voice serious, she couldn’t deny what he just felt. Fighting the urge to say any more, he lifted his left hand and gently took a few strands of hair out of Ava’s face before sliding that same hand down her side and resting it on her waist ”You don’t need to apologize, I’m not sorry for what just happened, I’m yours no matter what… Take the time you need.” he added a few seconds after and he meant every word, he once felt like he didn’t like being strung along, he still didn’t, but now he felt like he would take all the punishment in the world just to be with her like they were right there in the moment.
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Post by ava on Mar 30, 2011 16:30:43 GMT -5
Kyle’s fingers grazed her face pushing back a few strands of her hair and Ava moved her eyes back up to look at him. She did love him, that wasn’t a question she ever had to ask herself from the moment she first saw him again. The way her heart jumped into her throat she knew without a doubt. He was too good for her though, she didn’t deserve him and the patience he was showing her even if it wasn’t the same a week ago. Her apology was not going to be retracted though, because she still needed to if for no one else but herself. She hated what she was doing to him, and she if she hadn’t somewhere inside of her felt any kind of feelings for Eli she would have a decision made sooner. For that matter if she loved Eli, AND loved him more than Kyle that would be a decision she could make as well. The feelings involved though were more complicated than that even if on the outside it didn’t seem like they should be. One more time she leaned in and gave Kyle a kiss this time much shorter the last but just as important.
“Thank you.” It was all Ava could manage to say that might even remotely explain her gratitude to him for coming back and giving her the time she needed. She was bent over to the side again to pick up his hat off the floor in case he wanted to put it back on but before she reached it there was a loud knock at the door. Furrowing her eyes at Kyle she pulled herself back up and walked across the room looking though the peephole first. Eli. Closing her eyes she took a moment to contain her anxiety about the current situation before opening it to let him inside.
Eli stepped inside a bag of take out in hand and glanced around the room immediately noticing Kyle sitting on the bed. His face spoke more words then came out of his own as he looked back at Ava in pain and disbelief as she ran her hand over her head. “Eli . . . . .” His hand flew up from his side in a stop motion as he walked in dropping the bag on the desk and turned immediately back around making his way to the door again. “I thought when we talked you were serious. We had an agreement Ava?” With that he slammed the door and was gone again. Ava stood there in shock, jaw on the floor, at the now closed again door. So quickly things had just fallen out of the sky and right into her lap. Everything that she was trying to take her time to figure out had just got thrown back in her face and as she looked back at Kyle with an apologetic face she debated what to do. “I’ll be back.”
Once out the door Ava looked up the hall to see Eli look back at her once more before walking out of the building. Speeding up her walk to a sprint she threw the glass doors open and called out to him, “Eli!” she stopped where she was. If he didn’t come back at this point there was no turning back but it was his move now. Just as she thought about going back inside he turned around and walked back towards her angrily stopping just in front of her his face close enough to hers to touch. “You said it was just the hospital. He was hurt, I understood that! But he is in your dorm. Your bedroom. You couldn’t have even been honest!” Ava’s eyes diverted to the concrete beneath her bare feet and she stood silent with nothing good to stay to him, nothing worth speaking up to say. There was nothing anyways, because everything was exactly as he said it was.
As defeated as she felt Ava watched him walk away again before taking her walk of shame back down the hall and into the dorm where Kyle waited. She was sorry he had been a part of it, she was sorry IT was even an issue, but she knew that somehow whether they were together or not Kyle would probably always have some part of her life and if he was not okay with that than maybe it was better these things were happening now. Whether or not she understood his point of view she didn’t want it to go down like that and she had hoped she would have made a decision by now but it was much harder than she anticipated. The door quietly closed behind her and she let her back fall against it before looking at Kyle again. “You shouldn’t have seen that.”
[/size] as far as 814. the eye can see im wearing. under your command Kyle. i will be finished. your guardian REAL SLIM SHADY !? @ caution 2.0 [/color]. never say never nottteessss.[/blockquote][/size][/center] |
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Post by lirie on Mar 30, 2011 17:21:44 GMT -5
I don't ever wanna believe…
That when we die, that we all leave.
The happiness Kyle felt was indescribable; the whole world could go to hell at that moment, all he cared about was being right there at that moment but his moment of euphoria was cut short by a knock on the door. He didn’t expect it to be who it was, so he was stunned when he saw Eli, to say the least. Kyle remained seated as he watched Eli’s facial expression turn furious, he couldn’t blame him, and if the situation was reversed Kyle would probably be furious too. When Eli dropped a bag on the table Kyle eyed it, the thought of Ava spending the night at his place stung and made his blood boil at the same time, it was a good thing Eli decided to run off because if he didn’t Kyle wouldn’t have been able to remain civil. Just when he thought it was over, was ready to shrug it off, Ava left the dorm room. ”Oh for fuck sakes!” he grumbled as he stood up from the bed and started pacing the room, fighting the urge to go after them.
He heard the sound of running down the hall, was she seriously running after him after what just happened between them, he understood that she was confused but that just really pissed him off. Her voice yelling his name was the last thing he heard and he clutched his fists as he dropped down on the bed again, his knuckles turning white from the pressure, he was about to properly loose his temper for the first time since waking up.
As he waited for Ava to return he tried his best to calm himself down, to think rationally, but every rational thought seemed to be erased by thoughts of Eli’s head being dragged across the tar parking lot, Ava at his place, Ava running after him and the longer he sat the more frustrated he got.
It didn’t take too long before she was back, shutting the door behind her and falling back against the wall, Kyle looked up at her, his expression torn between concern for her and anger, ”Yes, I shouldn’t have…” he said shortly, his teeth clenched, he knew he was about to say things that would hurt Ava’s feelings, but at that moment all he cared about was getting it off his chest. He stood up in one quick movement and made his way over to her ”What….” was all he managed to get out followed by a frustrated sigh as he pointed to the door, his mouth hanging open slightly, he was at a loss for words.
Before he spoke again he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and let his hand drop to his side again ”What am I supposed to make of that?” he asked, anger dripping from his word even though he kept his voice low ”I know you’re confused but, but…. URG!” he added seconds later, his voice this time reaching a high by the end of his sentence. He then stood there, staring intensely into Ava’s eyes, trying to figure out what was going on in her head, but soon gave up, shaking his head and scratching his head hard trying to release the tension he felt.
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Post by ava on Mar 30, 2011 17:48:29 GMT -5
Kyle jumped off the bed and came towards Ava who stood against the door and flinched closing her eyes in preparation. Not in preparation for a hit, or anything like that, but she saw the anger in his face, the words that were about to get thrown. When his first word though was barely above the level of a raised voice her eyes opened and she watched him raise his hand towards the door indicating the event that had just happened. What had just happened she wasn’t completely sure of. Why, she didn’t know either. His eyes stared at her burning her as he didn’t move, didn’t say anything else and she just looked at him her own anger growing within her.
“What was that?” Her voice too rose a bit but no more than could be heard between them. “What was what? I left him once. He told me if I left that was it and I left anyways to rush to the hospital and be by your side. He got over it, understood, wanted to wait it out and make things work somehow. JUST LIKE YOU.” Kyle didn’t know about any of that mess between Ava and Eli but she was laying it all out now. There was no excuse for all this, she understood his anger, but it was ups and downs with him. One second he was okay waiting, letting her figure things out on her own terms and her own time, then this. “And if I remember correctly when you saw me with him you went out binge drinking and ended up worshiping the toilet in my bathroom.” Ava pushed her body up off the door but didn’t move from her spot just closing in on him so she didn’t have to raise her voice anymore, the anger was raging in her eyes. “He just walked in to MY dorm with YOU sitting on the edge of my bed. Whether or not you believe it, whether or not I have to make a decision, THIS is not how he deserved to find out about any of it.” This was not how anyone deserved to find out about it. She knew that part of it if not all of it was her fault but sometimes the dramatic effect got the best of her and if he could yell and get angry and frustrated so could she.
[/size] as far as 404. the eye can see im wearing. under your command Kyle. i will be finished. your guardian REAL SLIM SHADY !? @ caution 2.0 [/color]. never say never nottteessss.[/blockquote][/size][/center] |
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Post by lirie on Mar 30, 2011 18:21:13 GMT -5
I don't ever wanna believe…
That when we die, that we all leave.
Ava’s anger came to Kyle as a bit of a surprise, he didn’t expect it and the things she said just made the anger in him increase ten fold ”Do NOT compare me with him Ava, just… Don’t” he said, his expression now one of pure anger, he wasn’t going to let him feel guilty for what he felt, he had the right to be angry, he didn’t want to know how he and Eli were alike, he was more than content with hating his guts.
Kyle’s breathing deepened, his hands and arms shook, he needed an outlet, ”Right, I’m a dick… I get it, just come out and say it, KYLE YOU’RE A FUCKING HYPOCRITE. was his response to her rubbing his drunken evening in his face ”The difference there is I didn’t do any of it in front of you, I didn’t know you were coming after me...” he added, lowering his voice as much as he could in his current state, he was not trying to make excuses for himself but trying to make her see that there was a difference between the two situations, small but it was there and it didn’t excuse what he just had to endure.
Kyle then turned around and walked to the window, he wanted to blow off some steam and his body was still shaking as a way of getting rid of his built up adrenaline, The last words Ava spoke did it, ”I don’t give a shit about what he deserves!” he yelled, hitting the cup of flowers he brought her off the window sill with his fist causing water and flower petals to spill everywhere. He felt like he was about to throw up, but spoke again as soon as he calmed down, which took about two minutes ”Do you think I deserve seeing you run after him after what happened seconds earlier, am I not supposed to be mind-fucked with the whole situation? he asked, his voice strangely calm but the fact that he was still pissed was clear, bending down and picking the flower petals and stems along with the cup up from the floor.
Once all the evidence of his fit except for the water was cleaned up and threw away he walked up to Ava but said nothing, instead he just stood there, staring.
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Post by ava on Mar 30, 2011 19:12:36 GMT -5
There was no comparison between the two, that wasn’t what Ava had been trying to do. Her entire point was that Kyle too like Eli had walked in on something he didn’t like and stomped off to throw his own fit. The obvious fact now though was that he wasn’t talking about Eli, what that was about, he had been asking her what her running after him was all about. She thought she had addressed that too but apparently not directly enough. His entire body was shaking and she wanted to reach out and grab him, make him stop being stupid but she didn’t move. Instead out came his angry spiels again as he put words in her mouth and calling himself names. Things that had never crossed her own mind.
Kyle paced across the room to the window and Ava watched him intently with her eyes trying to read his body language but getting nothing that wasn’t already obvious from his stiff frame and voice tonation. This time though, his voice rose to yell as he made it clear Eli’s feelings were the least of his own concerns and he hit the flowers off the window sill sending them crashing to the floor. “What the hell Kyle!” She had never seen him like this and didn’t know how to react. Anger was no excuse for him to do things like that, he was lucky it was a plastic cup and not a vase or something else breakable he had hit or she might have had the audacity to tell him to leave.
Do you think I deserve seeing you run after him after what happened seconds earlier, am I not supposed to be mind-fucked with the whole situation?
Kyle bent to pick up the mess and Ava stayed back to prevent herself from saying or doing anything else she might regret letting him take care of his own mess instead. Those words though stung like nothing else had. She knew this situation wasn’t entirely about her that other people’s feelings were involved but she hadn’t necessarily thought about it in the same way up to this point. Kyle was sitting in the room watching him run after her when moments before she had kissed him, they had another moment. Whether or not that was the way she wanted Eli to find out she had been placed in a difficult position and obviously picked poorly. Kyle just wanted her to stay, to not feel like he was second best. And Eli, well he didn’t care what she had to say anyways and had just left her standing there.
“Neither one of you deserve this. I get that and I NEVER meant for it to be like this.” The sound of her voice softened as Ava watched him walk towards her again stopping just short of her and saying nothing. “If you know so well that I love you why do you act like this? I’ve never seen you like this. I don’t like it.” Her head tilted to the side to see the half dried water puddle on the carpet and then looked back to him as she lightly shook her head. “You don’t deserve any of this. Everything you have been through is enough for a lifetime. I don’t want to be the one to make it worse. To string you a long like I have been. I don’t deserve either one of you after what I have been doing I get that. But you said you weren't leaving again, I don't know what to do. I am no good at this stuff.”
[/size] as far as 584. the eye can see im wearing. under your command Kyle. i will be finished. your guardian REAL SLIM SHADY !? @ caution 2.0 [/color]. never say never nottteessss.[/blockquote][/size][/center] |
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Post by lirie on Mar 30, 2011 20:04:24 GMT -5
I don't ever wanna believe…
That when we die, that we all leave.
Kyle said nothing, he let Ava have her say, standing there feeling yelled out and empty, his heart rate calmed down, his arms stopped shaking, his hands unclenched, he was fed up. ”I’m so angry because I love you, it kills me knowing you might love someone else just as much if not more than you love me…” his tone neutral, unemotional, but yet the fact that he was being honest was clear. ”You don’t deserve this either Ava,,,” he added looking at the mess he caused, he lost control, once again did the opposite what he said he would do. Regret filled him as he just stood there, yes he had a legitimate reason to be angry, he was just human after all, but it didn’t make what he did any less hurtful.
With a sigh Kyle went back to her bed and sat on the edge again, trying to think of the right thing to say, but there were no words that could take bqck or make up for what just happened and he wasn’t going to apologize for having emotions. ”I’m still not going anywhere, I’ll sit here until we’ve sorted this mess out...” he said calmly, looking at her, his face clear of any hesitation ”I don’t expect any decisions, I just don’t want this to make things any more awkward than it was.” he added shortly after. With nothing left to say Kyle rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands, ’What a mess… he said to himself.
After about thirty seconds of silence Kyle just couldn’t take it anymore ”I’m sorry… For having part in causing you pain.” he whispered, he really didn’t want her to be hurt, it hurt him just thinking about it, he wanted to give her the world and make her happy, but didn’t see where to go from there, ”One day at a time, if you decide to still put up with me.” he added with a small chuckle, in hind-sight his outburst of anger seemed silly to him.
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